Without shoes, man’s first steps on the moon would have left his feet finely pumiced, though dangerously vulnerable to hoards of ravenous lunar wombats. Prepare your legs for small steps and giant leaps with today's Groupon: for $29, you get $60 worth of shoes, accessories, and apparel from Shoebacca.com.
The style-seekers at Shoebacca.com pay off their fashion-life debt by corralling thousands of shoes from leading brands and designers to meet the needs of athletic, outdoorsy, and chic feet. Shoe shoppers can peruse their digital collection of clodhoppers to find proper paw protection from modern cobblers such as Adidas, Onitsuka, and Doc Martens. The loafer-lined aisles of their warehouse house footwear for men, women, and children, along with universal styles such as the Vans classic slip-on ($41.99) and Converse Chuck Taylor high-tops ($44.99) that come in a variety of colors and patterns. Gentlemen can modishly muzzle toe pups in a pair of Nike Air Force 1 '07s ($87.99), first worn by President Nixon during his 1971 free-throw shootout with Chairman Mao, and ladies can warm frosty foot-fingers in a pair of sheepskin-lined leather Abigail boots by Bearpaw ($74.99).
For those looking for above-the-ankle accoutrements, Shoebacca.com also offers apparel, sunglasses, bags, and athletic gear. Price-conscious shoppers can browse sale merchandise, which offers items at reduced prices to deflate the egos of products whose retail popularity has gone to their heads. All orders made in the continental US come with free UPS ground shipping.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Beer Sophistication
As one progresses into adulthood, beer stops being the preeminent beverage of brazen yield-sign theft and the liquid catalyst for fisticuffs between anthropomorphic college mascots.
Adult beverages warrant adult behavior and none more so than the sophisticated microbrews, imported stouts, and männlagers chosen for Thinking While Drinking Magazine's annual list of most sophisticated beers. Here are last year's entrants:
- Sexy Skeleton Pressed-Tofu Cider
- Gargam Ale—The Smurf-Squeezed Brew That's a Milky Blue
- Rooster in a Waistcoat: The French? Beer
- Nightmare Fuel Porter—As Dark as the Night That Took Your Prom Date
- PaterBrau, the Premier Liquid Regret Dampener for Estranged Adult Sons
- Anything served in a novelty Phillies helmet
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