Hairline Clinic, in business for more than 45 years, treats molting manes with nonsurgical procedures designed to thwart and repair hair loss in men and women. The Laser Tech 9000 gently employs 51 diode lasers and 51 LED lights to fertilize cranial crops with therapeutic red light, designed to stimulate cell repair and hair growth without harming the skin and scalp. Attempt to immobilize retreating hairlines without hiring carbonite-equipped bounty hunters by opting for 15- to 30-minute sessions of low-level laser therapy once or twice a week. Although clients in the early stages of balding are the ideal candidates for laser therapy, people already losing their hair at the rate of an unwatered Dwight D. Eisenhower Chia Pet may also experience improved hair growth. Like bathing in a sea of smart phones, there are no known side effects.