Chris Beutz founded Green Horizons in 1988 to combine professional landscaping techniques with a growing knowledge of natural ecological cycles that restore spring vibrancy to yards shocked by winter months. In spring and fall, Beutz and his team clear away seasonal debris, lower the ears of lawns, and trim any remaining patches of scruff. Summer services, such as weekly shrubbery trimming and lemonade sprinkling, keep lawns looking good enough for a garden party. Services save homeowners valuable weekend time to attend their children's sporting events or the NBA Spelling Bee.
The tidiness technicians at Design Unlimited Painting scrub homes with high-pressure washers that powerfully massage away grime and grit to leave siding and trim sparkling. Dwellings can cast off their soiled shells and slip into the more comfortable surroundings of a freshly scoured, like-new carapace, just in time for the bungalow beauty pageant on May 14. Every employee at Design Unlimited Painting has at least 15 years of experience cleaning up after nature’s thunder parties, snow fetes, and sun-baked mud-pie feasts, and the expert abode-bathers happily don all-white garb to tackle every style of domicile, from Victorian painted ladies to modest ranches. Siding, stonework, and decks all benefit from the mold- and dirt-dethroning work of dynamically pressurized water, emerging as pristine as the day of their ceremonial ribbon cutting.
The Green Guardian nourishes landscapes with an approach that shuns harsh chemicals in favor of effective, all-natural fertilizers, herbicides, and pest-control solutions made from edible ingredients. A proprietary line of products includes vegan herbicides that fertilize lawns as they kill broadleaf and certain grassy weeds, and granular fertilizers that nourish turf with feed-grade corn, soil conditioners, and naturally-occurring microbial stimulants. Pest-control products use odorless garlic to repel mosquitoes, billbugs, grubs, geese, and displaced vampire squid, all without leaving behind an unpleasant smell.
In addition to lawn-care packages and à la carte treatments, The Green Guardian is also registered with DuPont to remove and replace trees killed by the chemical herbicide Imprelis.
Family patriarch Nordy Rockler opened the doors of his first store in 1954 to supply his fellow craftsmen with knowledge, friendly advice, and a large selection of tools for at-home woodworking projects. Now, the chain of retail outlets brims with more than 20,000 tools and specialized woodworking equipment. Next to a steely rainbow of hinges, casters, and screws, a supply of lumber and exotic hardwoods provides planks for building tree houses or just leaving around as a warning to uncooperative trees. The tenor buzz of power tools operated by newly knowledgeable guests drifts from educational sessions on operating equipment and woodworking.
The certified colon hydrotherapists at LifeCleanse of Anoka clear biological pathways and promote optimal health with FDA-approved colon-hydrotherapy treatments. During the initial two-hour session, expert body plumbers explain the process and usher clients into private therapy rooms, where they lie on their backs as warm water clears colons of waste and abandoned campsites left by swallowed gummy bears. A disposable, single-use nozzle inserts into digestive tracts, and patients can opt to have therapists stimulate the abdomen with or without oils. The streams of filtered aqua approximate the effects of a healthy bowel movement, helping dislodge toxins from the body's inner confines and promoting increased energy as well as overall well-being. The virtually painless procedure typically requires no downtime. LifeCleanse recommends a series of 60-minute follow-up sessions to keep digestive systems running smoother than a racehorse after a fresh coat of turtle wax.
Beberg's Landscape Supply houses a community of seasonal shrubbery and decorative lawn accents. A colorful array of plants such as a gallon of perennials ($7.99–$17.99), a pot of Autumn Joy sedum ($8.99), or a pocket full of hardy fall garden mums ($10.99) can speckle lawns with more practical accents than plying gnomes with gumdrops until they agree to pose in the garden.