Chandler Health and Fitness

With walls stretching to heights of 30 feet and more than 15,000 square feet of climbing surface, Phoenix Rock Gym is an impressive sight to behold. Seasoned instructors stand at the foot of ropes and bouldering walls, guiding clients of all ages who scamper up and down faces, cracks, arêtes, and chimneys within the comfort of a climate-controlled gym, safe from mountain goats that have developed a taste for human gym shorts. The gym's assortment of more than 50 courses accommodates all skill levels, from first-time climbers to the seasoned scalers of the Phoenix New Times. Staff members switch up holds and paint colors regularly to keep climbs from getting stale.

Today’s Groupon offers a variety of health services in one giant health-box wrapped in expensive handmade wrapping paper. For $60, you get a one-hour massage, chiropractic exam, and treatment at the Phoenician Health Group (a $180 value). Located in the Phoenix metro area, Phoenician provides high-quality chiropractic care with an emphasis in auto-accident injury, sports-injury treatment, nutrition, and advanced Connect Four strategy. Skeletons: Chiropractors typically work their magic through skin and muscle, but direct access to the vertebrae will allow them to realign your boney corpus, whether you’re preparing for a night of singing Cab Calloway in a cartoon cemetery or recovering from the arduous cycle of perpetually dropping from the rafters on a system of pulleys and wires.

Urban Yoga's knowledgeable, passionate instructors bestow wisdom and individualized attention upon students of all skill levels during an eclectic mix of classes held seven days a week. The Slow Flow class helps beginners and overexcited river rapids hone their technique with basic Vinyasa poses that focus on alignment and breathing. More advanced yogis can harness the soothing power of soft lighting and music to relax during Yin Yang classes. Like a rigorous seminar in the Village People's "YMCA" dance, the Ashtanga class challenges students to perform a predetermined sequence of poses, beginning with 10 sun salutations before moving on to one of six main series and a finishing resting pose. Blossoming body benders can splay themselves out on their own yoga mats or rent one for an additional $2.

Score sparkling tusks with today’s mouthy Groupon. For $189, the smile savers at Avalon Dental will whiten, examine, x-ray, and polish your teeth, then leave you with a custom-fitted whitening tray for maintaining smile perfection, a $770 value. Additionally, you’ll receive $50 off any restorative service (fillings, crowns, bridges) valued at $100 or more.Boars: Known as the “treasurers” of the animal kingdom, they grind their tusks together to produce sharp edges in order to dig their labyrinthine, underground salt mines.Elephants: These dim-witted animals are said to “never forget,” mostly because humans constantly forget to come up with a more accurate description of elephants.Walruses: Their lives are horrible because their relatively simple brains can only experience hunger and regret. Walrus tusks are filled with gold but are not valuable because it’s curse-gold.

Renew, restore, and revive lethargic ligaments with today’s Groupon. For $10, you’ll get 10 yoga classes at Peaceful Roots, an eco-friendly yoga and holistic fitness studio.There once was a flexible gal, Whose yogic skills never did fail, When forgetting her keys, She just pulled in her knees, And squeezed through the slot for the mail.

Today’s Groupon proves strength in numbers even better than that time your building’s cockroaches amassed into a humanoid shape and stole your TV. For $13, you get three group training classes worth $105 at Sky Fitness, an exercise fantasia located high above the clouds that only recently began featuring classes on the ground. Even independent fitness ventures such as running can benefit from the ground-based, social sweat sessions.