“This ‘PC’ world has never been more ready for Sarcasm,” exclaims Sarcasm Comedy Club founder Steve Trevelise. The WIP radio personality and veteran comedian, who honed his emceeing and managerial chops at the esteemed Catch a Rising Star, believes that “the comedy stage is the last place for freedom of speech.” Although some shows are rated PG and some are hard Rs, Sarcasm Comedy Club refuses to sanitize its performers for sensitive ears. For those who can take a joke, the uncensored humor hub’s calendar offers two Saturday-night shows per week that spotlight local cutups and national headliners. Those who dream of becoming comedians themselves can enlist in the Sarcasm Comedy School, in which they’ll learn the craft of standup, including joke writing, audience mining, and how to make your own heckler spray.
Since opening in 1975, Candlelight Dance Club has chased a single, unwavering mission: to curate an appreciation for ballroom dance while teaching its many styles. Six instructors stand ready to lead dancers through training to conquer foxtrot, swing, tango, waltz, and rumba steps. By offering both private and group lessons, Candlelight combines one-on-one attention from an instructor with group sessions that provide more camaraderie than a firefighting team moonlighting as a cheerleading squad. A bright, wood-floored studio hosts classes as well as the club’s weekly dance parties, which allow participants to try out learned moves in real time before debuting them in public. Many dance enthusiasts note a handful of dance-inspired benefits as their confidence shines, stress fizzles, and cardio endurance boosts.
Khyber Indian Fusion's Goa-born chef swirls the flavors of various savory Indian dishes together into a single menu. A charcoal-fueled oven imparts a hint of its smokiness and all of its long-winded stories to the chicken malai kebab, a roasted poultry dish marinated in almond, fresh cream, and signature herbs ($11.99). Golden orbs of fried veggie dumplings languor in a mild manchurian sauce ($10.49), and curry leaves and coconut batter freshwater shellfish in a Goan-style curry ($15.99). The Mumtaaz goat biryani simmers cubes of its titular meat over a tame fire with basmati rice and indian herbs ($14.49) for a slow-cooked dish that leaves tongues as happy as a clown at a makeup counter.
Jilly B's Boutique & Treats uses all-natural ingredients to gussy up its fat- and gluten-free yogurt made from skim milk. The roster of flavors on the menu frequently reinvents itself, but like determined starfish, classic standbys, such as coffee, peanut butter, vanilla, and raspberry, withstand the changing tides. Dress up a dish of the low-calorie, kosher dessert ($2.95–$4.50) with 1 of more than 25 toppings ($0.50–$0.95 each), ranging from granola, candy, and almonds to fruit, sauces, and top hats. Vanquish indecision with a two-topping parfait, or silence the demands of sweet teeth with a Yowich, frozen yogurt gingerly smooshed between two cookies.
Vitarelli's Restaurant, in business since 1976, slings a stunning selection of time-tested Italian delicacies. The Vitarelli sampler beckons visiting taste buds to board a vessel of crispy mozzarella sticks, chicken wings, and fried zucchini served alongside a marinara sea ($9.95). Twirl a forkful of pasta and meatballs ($9.95) or probe the cheesy pastascape of baked ziti ($10.95) with the same acuity that allowed Christopher Columbus to find India. Peer through the crusty bread bars of an extensive sandwich zoo, which houses sausage parmigiana ($5 for a small) and the Cherry Hill cheesesteak, with swiss and provolone cheeses co-existing peacefully beneath a warm blanket of fried onions ($6.50 for a small). Vitarelli's sociable staff also rolls out an array of pizzas ($6.95 for a 9"), whose doughy canvasses sport paint-by-number classics as well as avant garde mexican and BLT specialty pies.
Lorenzo's pizza purveyors stack disks of fresh dough with a panoply of gourmet ingredients before sliding them into brick ovens to seal in a smoky redolence. Classic pies such as the sweet Hawaiian and the basil-infused margherita send taste buds back in time more quickly than wormhole-flavored toothpaste, and innovative recipes set palates ablaze with creations such as the spicy buffalo-chicken pizza adorned with wing sauce and blue cheese. Chefs saddle up the Ranchero with bacon, spinach, and tomatoes in melty mozzarella and cool ranch dressing. Greener eats include the eggplant-parmesan pizza and the Mediterranean, which flaunts its sauceless façade with roasted peppers, spinach, olives, and garlic. A savory side of garlic knots and a two-liter bottle of Coca-Cola, Diet Coke, or Sprite accompany pizzas shared inside the eatery or savored at home in front of shamed frozen pizzas.