You're probably thinking, "That sounds great, but I've never bought a car or a computer without first reading the Wikipedia definitions for car and computer—I'm not about to buy a Groupon either without a briefing." Well, neither would we, and since this is everyone's first Groupon, allow us to briefly explain how it works.
Planet Java’s menu adds a healthy jitter to one's morning step with delicious, fresh-roasted joe juice served from a convenient drive-through brew shack. Feed your need for black liquid speed with a mondo (20-oz.) cup of regular coffee ($2), or try a tall (12-oz.) Aztec mocha ($3.60), which blends espresso with cinnamon-chocolate and steamed milk to fill your demitasse with a healthy dose of post-all-nighter elixir. Otherwise, cool off after a hotcake-eating competition with a 20-oz. iced option; bathe your sweaty mouth with the refreshing nectars of a cold chai charger ($3.95), a concoction of espresso, vanilla chai, and steamed milk or water. For something more hedonistic, let the caramel and milk chocolate contents of a hot or blended caramel decadent ($4.35) effervesce within your stomach while you bathe in a cistern of foie gras and watch masked servants dance for your amusement.
Pacifica Pizza hand-tosses its dough to create a strong and delicious foundation for a menu of specialty pizzas created with toppings fresh from California farms. The traditional veggie pizza contains a veritable garden of mushrooms, green peppers, black olives, tomatoes, and a hedge maze. The heart attack special combines a plethora of meats— sausage, pepperoni, salami, canadian bacon, and ground beef—into a super-pizza packed with enough animal to legally qualify as livestock. Try a traditional hawaiian pizza topped with canadian bacon, pineapple, and extra cheese, or choose not to choose with the almost-everything-on-it bulldog special. A sidecar of breadsticks and a handle of soda transform your pizza from part of a complete breakfast into a complete breakfast.
Keothip’s menu burgeons with nearly 100 specimens of Thai and fusion cuisine. Diners can team sweet with savory by ordering pineapple fried rice ($11.95), or pitch pad thai ($9.95) mouthward with chopsticks. Adorned with ground black pepper, the chef's sautéed-garlic specialty ($9.50) pairs mushrooms with a choice of chicken, pork, or beef. Instead of teaching shrimp ($12.95) to crawl, patrons can let them doggy-paddle through seas of chili sauce in cashew water wings. Beer and wine ($4–$8) help diners toast special occasions, preventing them from microwaving stale birthday greetings.