American bears are settling into hibernation in colder climates, so there's no better time for humans to gain physical superiority. Today’s Groupon gives you 14 day passes to your local Spectrum Athletic Club for $39 (normally $25 each)—that's less than $3 per day. You can come and go as you please each day you use a pass, so stop in for a morning workout and come back after work for an evening class.800 nanometers: Looks sort of like red, but if you stare at it for more than a few seconds, you throw up corn even if you’ve never eaten corn.900 nm: Ghosts become visible, but only ghosts of boring people.1000 nm: Bees can see this wavelength, which allows them to detect and sting only people who are allergic to bee stings.2000 nm: You’d see a childhood version of yourself who frequently chastises you for weaknesses.3000 nm: You can see those who society has made invisible, like drifters and public criers.
For the instructors at Blacklist Martial Arts & Fitness, learning martial arts is just as much about building community leadership skills as it is about punching and kicking. Committing to this belief, they train students of all ages and experience levels in classes held from morning to night. These programs introduce the range of Brazilian jiu jitsu, muay Thai kickboxing, and submission wrestling techniques—the diversity of skills imparted ensures students don't also have to test which ones their in-laws know. For students 14 years and younger, the studio offers Skillz: a martial arts curriculum for children further attesting to the studio's ability to accommodate a variety of clients.
Blacklist's coaching team is helmed by Brazilian jiu jitsu black-belt Tim Credeur, whose dedication to his craft earned him the nickname "Crazy." He isn't the only dedicated one—all of Blacklist's instructors have competed in gi and no-gi jiu jitsu grappling events, and some in professional kickboxing and MMA tournaments. To instill their passion in students, they allow Blacklist's most experienced trainees to represent the gym at MMA events. They also empower top students to lead some of the studio's classes.
In his years as a New Orleans firefighter, professional MMA fighter, and certified personal trainer, Gino Ascani has gathered a wealth of ideas on how to build the ideal gym. At Nola Xtreme Fitness, Ascani leads private training sessions, spinning classes, TRX classes, and group fitness sessions while utilizing more than 7,000 square feet of equipment-lined space. The facility houses cardio equipment, treadmills, elliptical machines, and rowing machines along with free weights, kettlebells, weight machines, and a pile of porcelain toilets that can be thrown off the gym’s roof.
A center of tae kwon do instruction since 1992, David Vincent's Martial Arts & Fitness instills discipline and physical mastery in martial-arts students of all ages. After signing up for their one-month membership, students will be given a karate belt and roundhouse-kick license. Programs run the gamut from the Little Dragons (4–6 years old), Children (7–10 years), Teens (11–16 years), and adults (17+ years), ensuring instruction appropriate to every age level. Youngsters can sharpen their technique at various class times scheduled throughout the week. At the end of the one-month membership, students who wish to continue their training or explore how other colored belts complement their eyes can apply the price of their Groupon toward a full membership.
With spring spreading like a bag of spilled gravy, now is the ideal time to throw open the windows and get home-care projects underway. Pick up a Steel Grip six-piece screwdriver set for $8.49 and a whole bunch of screws, anchors, and bolts (prices vary), and you'll be ready to finally mount every buffalo nickel and steel penny in your coin collection. If you need to match paint to a favorite coverlet or choose a hue that complements a pleather recliner, each store offers a paint-matching service free of charge. Get keys made for $1.99 a pop, or clean a barnacle-encrusted carpet with the help of a carpet-cleaning machine ($30 a day to rent).