Rembrandt All You Can Art's experienced painters lead fledgling brush wielders and adept artists alike through a variety of classes in a fun and relaxed atmosphere. Armed with pre-sketched or blank canvases and BYOB wine, painters sit at the virtual feet of Rembrandt All You Can Art's instructors, who disclose the ins and outs of chromatic acumen from the glow of a flat-screen television. Artsy duos choose to apply the fundamentals of brushwork and color theory to specific drawings from the gallery. Over an HDTV, experienced artists guide participants step-by-step through each workshop, where pupils choose their own colors, pace, and how many or few chest hairs to put on portraits of Fabio. During the approximately 2.5-hour class, students use provided paint, brushes, easel, aprons, and a 16”x20” canvas to create personalized mantle toppers such as Sunflower, Darwin's Ship, or Elvis I. Follow along with the featured image during your class, or venture off the painted path with any pre-sketched image. The studio keeps corkscrews, napkins, and glasses on hand for people who want to bring their own wine or perform avant-garde juggling routines. Rembrandt recommends that students arrive 20–30 minutes prior to the scheduled class time.
The Zephyrs boast a rich history of nurturing budding bat-swatters and arm-bazooka wielders; nearly 50 former Zephyr players are currently playing in the major leagues. Led by the big-swinging 22-year-old first baseman Logan Morrison, who sported a .300 average and 10 RBIs in his first 40 at-bats, and 23-year-old hurler Ryan Tucker, who posted a 1.59 ERA and nine strikeouts in his first 11.1 innings, the Zephyrs are primed for another run at the PCL American South division title.
Cleaved into a verdant expanse populated with 20-year-old cypress trees and 17 tranquil ponds, Cypress Lakes Country Club’s 18-hole course tumbles across 6,556 yards of challenging tee-to-green terrain. Waterways and wetlands complicate play on virtually every hole throughout the pristine par 72, giving advantage to players who can confidently select the right club to clear a forced carry or bribe gullible waterfowl to extract their sunken balls. Well-manicured bermuda grass supplies eminent playability to both the fairways and the greens, which at times appear as narrow landing strips in a course populated by so much water. By the end of the round, linksmen become callous to water’s intimidating ripples, allowing them to trace a towering drive over the aquatic forced carry that stands in front of the 18th tee, setting up a second shot that could allow players to tap in for a stunning birdie or three-putt for a breathtaking double bogey to conclude the round with dramatic flair.
When players don their vests, squeeze the handle of their glowing pistol, and enter Laser Tag of Metairie’s neon-lit arena for the first time, one thing is clear: this place does not take laser tag lightly. Capable of hosting up to 44 players at once, the multi-level, futuristic battlefield sets combatants loose among ramps, tight corners, and shadowy corridors ideal for ambushing adversaries or learning to knit in the dark. Each game lasts seven minutes, and the arena’s officials keep a quick pace, making sure when one battle ends, another will soon begin.
The clatter of skee-ball machines drifts from the center’s arcade, mingling with strings of notes from Guitar Hero and sounds from other games. Each machine is equipped with a swipe-card system that tracks players’ credits electronically so they no longer have to measure their self-worth by how many tokens are in their pockets. In addition, guests can test their steering skills in the Spin Zone, a bumper-car area with one quite literal twist: there are two zones on the track that will send cars into a tailspin if drivers attempt to pass over them or park on them to exchange insurance information.
Colonial Golf and Country Club’s 18-hole course takes duffers careening through a traditional layout of short-grass corridors sculpted precariously through towering oak trees. The Mississippi River runs along the course’s southernmost end, supplying a bucolic vibe and an old-fashioned escape route should golfers run afoul of any territorial flagsticks. The twiggy arms of mature oaks coalesce with tight fairways and strategically placed bunkers to place a high premium on precision over power. Players who masterfully bisect each fairway off the tee must still contend with tricky second and third shots into the course’s relatively small, undulating greens, which make for challenging targets to reach in regulation and tricky tapestries to two-putt at will. Scenic water hazards round out the course’s coterie of orb-ensnaring impediments, and a friendly rental cart or two will help keep clubbers dry while proffering incisive commentary about the universally strained relations between carts and caddies.
All manner of motorized vehicles race down twists and turns at NOLA Motorsports Park’s 600-acre racing facility. Exotic racecars roar along an international-standard racetrack, whereas professional go-karts harness their speed on a smaller scale. Motorcycles join their four-wheeled cousins during regular bike races, as spectators look on jealously, yearning for the day when humans finally evolve wheels of their own.