Earn sympathy from the police and teach children not to trust you with these imaginative uses for the versatile beauty product.
By now you’ve probably read countless articles about how coconut oil can remove eye makeup, tame frizz, and (maybe) even get you in trouble with the TSA. But if, by now, you’ve somehow managed to avoid jumping on the coconut-oil bandwagon, these five alternative uses might just convince you to run out and buy a bucket of the stuff.
1. Grease the Runners on an Old Sled
While it might not prove as effective as the “non-caloric, silicon-based kitchen lubricant” Clark Griswold uses to grease his sled in Christmas Vacation, we think coconut oil would be a nice substitute (and probably a lot less flammable). Sure, it’s spring, but that’s an even better reason to try out this trick—your sled’s going to have to be pretty slick to slide down the piles of trash that have been hiding under those snow heaps all winter.
2. Build the World’s Saddest Snowman
Speaking of snow, coconut oil could make a great stand-in for the fluffy stuff, if you just can’t bear to wait a whole year to play in it. One container should be just enough to roll together a tiny, tabletop snowman (coconut man?), but you’ll want to work fast since the oil melts pretty quickly in your hands.
3. Completely Ruin a Kid’s Day
We’ve established that coconut oil looks a lot like snow in its solid state, but it also resembles another chilly, semisolid substance: ice cream. It’s also totally safe to eat, meaning you can feel a little less guilty about scooping it onto a cone, presenting it to a younger sibling or bothersome child actor, and then watching as their face quickly turns from joyful to horrified at the first bite. While their mouth is still full of the stuff, why not take the opportunity to educate them on the benefits of oil pulling? They’ll probably thank you for it someday.
4. Fake an Un-Ugly Cry
Whether it’s getting out of a parking ticket or nailing an audition for a soap opera, everybody needs to pull off a fake cry now and again. But not everybody is skilled enough to conjure actual tears. The solution: simply slather a little melted coconut oil under your eyes and everyone will assume you’ve been bawling your eyes out for hours. Best of all, unlike a real cry, which can leave you with a puffy face and intense under-eye circles, the coconut-oil cry will hydrate your skin, leaving you looking better than ever.
5. Keep Your Coconuts from Rusting
With so much emphasis on coconut oil’s beauty benefits, it can be easy to completely forget about its original, intended purpose: keeping coconuts from rusting. Like all tropical fruits, coconuts are prone to oxidation after prolonged contact with moisture in the air. A light coating of coconut oil, three times a day, can help keep the coconut fresh and ensure all its moving parts remain in working order.
Illustration: Jen Jackson, Groupon