The 39 holes at Loeschner's Village Green Family-Style Miniature Golf lead putt-putters on a serpentine path through verdant landscaping framed by charming white picket fences. The challenging course zigzags past gnarled trees and around thick shrubs, even burrowing through rocky outcroppings that resemble scaled-down versions of the tunnels common to mountainous regions. In addition to upkeeping the sprawling course, the staff encourages guests to keep the competition going at the on-site arcade or by instigating a soft-drink-chugging contest at the snack bar.
Joe V’s Sports Bar builds a menu of pub fare and Chicago-style pizzas on a foundation of homemade dough, sauce, and Italian cheeses. Pizzas are constructed with the clean lines of minimalist cheese ($9.29 for 12”) or the ornately decorated Super Deluxe pizza ($16.79 for 12”), which brings along its entourage of pepperoni, sausage, ham, mushrooms, onions, olives, and green peppers to shower it in flavor and compliments. Homemade potato chips ($2.99) crisp just quietly enough to avoid interrupting the sounds waves of live music or karaoke as they dance through the air. An olive-swiss burger ($7.99) is made from a half pound of Black Angus beef and paired with fries. Strewn liberally with televisions, Joe V’s lives up to its title of sports bar by displaying games and spontaneously producing basketballs every evening.
Streetlight glow cascades across the brick-paved road that lies in front of Ritz Koney Bar and Grille, where a bronze sign bearing the bar’s name glimmers above the door as guests filter in and out. That same door swings open until 3 a.m. on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, letting the vocal melodies of open-mic events and live entertainment briefly escape into the night. There’s never a cover charge to get in, leaving extra money in the pockets of patrons who stop by for a drink after work, on a date, or during a quest for the world’s crispest cocktail napkins.
J. Gardella's Tavern offers casual comfort food for the formal and uncomfortable at its three-story location. Fire-up feasting from the menu with spinach artichoke dip ($6.99) or J. Gardella's chili, a cup of family secrets, beef, zucchini, tomatoes, mushrooms, carrots, and beans ($2.99). Once initial hunger pains have been tamed, guests can turn their stomach's sights toward a main dish. The pulled-pork sandwich accompanies its eats with barbecue sauce for dipping ($6.99), whereas the black-bean garden burger ($5.99) and the buffalo-chicken wrap ($6.99) spoil the stomach and spare the hog. Entrees include lake perch with fries ($8.99) and a chicken or beef burrito ($8.99), with the sugar-and-cinnamon-dusted dessert known as Elephant Ears ($3) providing a fitting finale to the feast. Vampires can use this Groupon for the late- night menu or to sip on some of the adult beverages at the full bar.
Grand Rapids Adventure Boot Camp runs intensive fitness classes taught by skilled personal trainers. Each session lasts 45 minutes, and with five sessions each week, fledgling fitness seekers will be well on their way to sprouting six-pack wings from their trapezius muscles. Each session involves intense circuit-style workouts, as well as light running, weight training, obstacle courses, core training, and jumping rope. All of Grand Rapids Adventure Boot Camp's outdoor locations have cover in case of rain, but in cases of extremely inclement weather (typhoons, scratch-inducing dog and cat downpours, plague frogs, etc.), the instructor will arrange make-up classes.