Things to Do in Hamilton

Great-white sharks, silverback gorillas, and bengal tigers guard the nine holes of That Fun Place's phosphorescent mini-golf course. That’s where families tap neon golf balls through aquatic and jungle landscapes before kids holster putters to climb through the padded three-story playground. After slipping through tunnels and peering through portholes, groups reconvene at the bumper cars to slam into each other under more black lights. Meanwhile, in the laser-tag arena, kids and adults slink through rainforests and space ships to fire the same photons that render alien skin smooth and hairless.

Outside, carnival games and roller coasters envelop visitors in natural light, and children mine for gems and arrowheads at the wooden sluicing contraption. With a full-service pizza parlor on site and an arcade filled with more than 40 games, That Fun Place can also host birthday parties for up to 22 guests.

Close-combat guerilla paintball matches lob combatants into a woodland field or speedball course for fast-paced war games supervised by trained referees. In the woodsball field, soldiers slide behind some 130 bunkers, ducking under branches and leaping over fallen logs while dodging fire and infiltrating a two-story wooden fort. Referees oversee various forms of gameplay—from standard single or double elimination bouts—to more tactical scenarios such as capture the flag, medic, predator, or marines vs. aliens.

Colonial Pines Golf Club’s 18-hole course blankets 127 acres of tranquil Ohio Valley farmland for 5,966 yards of rolling hills and imposing hardwoods. Golfers traverse the par 70 layout on the backs of motorized carts or caddies hoping to improve their piggyback-ride form, steering balls away from a menagerie of hazards, including mounds topped with swaying heathers, woodsy thickets, and six lakes spanning 11 acres. The first tee shot aptly foreshadows a round in which avoiding water hazards and ingratiating oneself to ball-stealing fish will be critical, as drives must cross a pond that runs from the tee box to the beginning of the fairway.

Course at a Glance:

• 18-hole, par 70 course
• Length of 5,966 yards from the farthest tees
• Course rating of 68.3 from the farthest tees
• Slope rating of 117 from the farthest tees
• Three tee options
• Link to scorecard

Founder Sarah Rose McGuire dedicates her stable to rescuing and rehabilitating horses that may have been neglected or abused by a former owner. During lessons for children 3–12, both horse and child benefit from gentle interspecies interaction: the rescued horses learn to trust their pint-sized human partners and the children enjoy themselves or overcome their fears of riding or being recruited as a jockey. The 60-minute sessions illuminate the subtleties of equine grooming, tack, and proper riding form, with new riders leashed on a lead line until they demonstrate mounted mastery. An experienced trainer with a class A show pedigree conducts each lesson in a private one-on-one format, though two siblings may take their lessons together.

One fateful day 24 years ago, a group of doomed souls got lost amid the shadows of 22 acres of wooded land and were never found. Each year following that, more and more people met the same fate. Nightmare On Valley Street dares guests to gather their courage and walk—or run—down the haunted trail where these souls were last seen, confronting characters from horror movies and being chased by four-wheelers that were deprived of their afternoon nap. During the 30-minute adrenaline-filled adventure, participants encounter more than 30 scenes and more than 40 live monsters that will soon join their nightmares.

For wee ones and those who would rather smile than scream, Nightmare On Valley Street also hosts Hillbilly Hayrides that set out in the crisp autumn air, while the sun is still duct taped to the sky. In addition to free parking, the amenities include onsite concessions for fortifying the strength of those who have fainted.

Racket-wielding instructors at Schroeder Tennis Center help elevate players' tennis acumen with clinics and leagues for athletes of all ages and experience levels. Children's classes acclimate younger players to the game with smaller-sized racquets and courts, and this helps develop basic, size-appropriate skills at an earlier age. Adult classes range from beginner basic courses to high-level clinics, which teach players to smash tennis balls and small planets into orbit. The facilities include climate-controlled indoor courts—five in the summer and seven in the winter—as well as six outdoor courts.