Cedar Hill Farm Paintball Park arms its guests with a gun, an air tank, a face mask, a 200-round hopper, and 500 rounds of splattering ammunition to defend humanity against the sinister forces of boredom. Sporting seven separate courses over 14 acres of park, Cedar Hill can accommodate large-scale battles and special-forces strikes in the Woods, Ambush, or Bunker Hill courses, and anyone looking for high-frequency action can test their trigger fingers on one of the farm’s speedball courses. Because war has no rules, except for a few necessary ones for safety, battle pacing and game types are left up to the players themselves, though Cedar Hill estimates that players can clean out their clips in two or three hours and are happy to suggest favorite scenarios for squads who’ve come up short.
The two-hour cruise is scheduled to meet at 6:30 p.m., depart at 7 p.m., and return at 9 p.m., affording passengers plenty of time to successfully saturate taste buds, ear buds, and dance buds. As you set off into the sunset backdrop on the Mississippi River, the wafting aromas of a feast prepared onboard will tempt a range of palates. Select from salads, hot entrees, carving stations, and sides; choices include prime rib, roasted turkey, red beans and rice, steamed seasonal vegetables, and seasoned potatoes. Complimentary coffee, soft drinks, and tea abound, and tipplers can head to the cash bar for a classic cocktail. Panoramic windows, two enclosed decks, and two outdoor decks showcase the historic waterfront unfolding in front of you as live music invites dance muscles to twitch rhythmically under the stars.
Funny Bone Comedy Club boasts an ever-changing marquee of headlining laughsmiths to elicit audience guffaws. Groupon buyers can pick from a full calendar of upcoming shows, including a set from HBO and Comedy Central veteran Mark Sweeney (November 8–13), who uses laconic sarcasm and a quiver of peacock feathers to tickle guests' ribcages. Cajun comic John Morgan (November 16–20) channels his parallel career as a motivational speaker to engage with table-bound attendees, summoning up resonant humor about everyday life. Actor and comedian Rahn Ramey (November 22–27) brings finely honed improv skills to his standup routine, tossing off spontaneous jokes and effortlessly dodging paper airplanes thrown by hecklers.
More than 600 acres of picturesque wetlands and forests serve as a backdrop to Willows Sporting Clays and Hunting Center's shooting range and sporting clay-shooting course. In this environment, staff experts are at the ready to provide personal instruction and lead guided hunts of deer, quail, and dove. Nearby, Harrah's Tunica's many amenities include several restaurants and a comedy club.
Offering an around-the-clock workout venue for casual calisthenics crackerjacks and veteran muscle architects alike, Fitness Premier provides gymgoers with a vast array of up-to-date equipment. A 2,000-square-foot free-weight area offers plenty of space to perfect squats or run a solo barbell relay, and more than 50 cardio machines cut down on treadmill lines and elliptical queues. Fledgling fitness-seekers are also privy to four sessions of small-group training, which put its students through the bodily wringer in an encouraging communal workout environment that’s infinitely preferable to working out in a colony of hive-minded, man-sized ants.
Hale Irwin recognizes that most golf courses have only one signature hole. But you don?t win the U.S. Open three times and rack up 87 professional victories in a storied PGA career by doing what everybody else does. So when Mr. Irwin unveiled his design for The Links at Cottonwoods in March of 1998, he included two signature holes: the 13th, a par 5 extending to a whopping 600 yards, and the 16th, a par 3 with a nerve-racking island green. In 2012, readers of Golf Digest presented Mr. Irwin with a 4.5-star rating in the magazine?s ?Best Places to Play? section for his audacious design and willingness to flout convention.
His distinctive pair of holes highlights a pristine, 18-hole stretch of Scottish-style links, complete with wide fairways pestered by strong seasonal winds but free of wandering sheep that chew on argyle socks. As players chase dimpled orbs across the Meyer Zoysia fairways and tap them over the Champion Bermuda greens, they?ll encounter water-bordering play on more than half of the holes.
Course at a Glance: * 18-hole, par 72 course * Total length of 6,989 yards from the back tees * Course rating of 72.3 from the back tees * Course slope of 119 from the back tees * Five sets of tees per hole