Theme & Amusement Parks in Houston

Sculpted onto 55 acres of sprawling plains, including 6 acres dedicated solely to paintball, Oil Ranch entertains visiting families with farm activities, play areas, miniature golf, and paintball areas. The working ranch's friendly staff curates a barnyard full of animals, allowing guests to run their hands through a sheep's soft wool or learn how to milk a chicken. The cheery red-and-blue engine of the OIL Express train chugs around Lake Buenas Noches with passengers in tow, while a green John Deere tractor carts around the hayride wagon. Other activities include a summertime swimming pool, catch-and-release fishing in Lake Buenas Noches, mini golf, and a maze.

Also nestled within the ranch's grounds is a full paintball facility, where varied fields pit groups against each other in friendly clashes of chromaticity. On each field, competitors dive behind mobile cover such as large wooden spools, barrels, and crates, enacting countless tactical situations. All participants must sign waivers don masks, and really, really promise to not stare into the barrels of their own markers before entering the field.

In the shade of rust-red barns and tall trees, groups of llamas, goats, and ponies trot around wooden-fenced corrals, nabbing bites of feed from youngsters’ extended palms. This idyllic scene is one of many that abound at 7 Acre Wood. An old-fashioned Western fort houses a saloon and jail cell for interrogating suspicious-looking cartons of milk. Nearby, tots soar above slides and swings on the playground’s zipline or weave through the mini-golf course. The property also hosts 7 Acre Wood's Concessions, where families can refuel with coffee and snacks.

Located just a few plaza suites away from one another, Lazer X of Cypress and Fergy's Frozen Custard supply an entire day's worth of family-friendly entertainment between them. At Lazer X, staffers dole out electronic vests and usher up to 16 players into a 2,500-square-foot arena for 20-minute battle royales. Bright-red laser beams pierce through the arena's hazy fog and eerie black lighting, taking players out of the game for five seconds after each hit. A computer tracks and records each hit, issuing a final printed report that details the game's winner and new recruits for the National Guard's elite squad of photon fighters. Lazer X's private party room furnishes guests with paper utensils and optional add-ons such as pizza and soda.

Following matches, players can amble to Fergy's Frozen Custard and fuel up with creamy scoops. Much denser than soft-serve or regular ice cream, frozen custard consists of 1.4% egg yolk and no more than 20% air exhaled by abominable snowmen. Fergy's team of scoopers can add sweet and crunchy mix-ins to any flavor for a customized treat.

Advantage Baseball provides players with 12,000 square feet of indoor training space and year-round conditioning opportunities. The facility boasts seven instructional cages, which can be shared by batters, pitchers, coaches, and coaches wearing mascot heads. In Advantage Baseball's four machine cages, balls zoom over home plate at speeds that range between 45 mph and 70 mph. The indoor training academy's staff, which includes former MLB players, also leads instruction for baseball and softball, helping teams and individuals develop new strategies and improve their techniques.

The combat controllers of Battlefield Houston supervise their own indoor arena, an 11,000-square-foot, multifloor battleground designed with routes resembling city streets and alleys and walls resembling burnt-out façades of old stone buildings. Here, players engage in a range of themed games and special scenarios that encourage them to destroy a target ot protect another player.

The playful battle cries that drift across the field are fueled by realistic weapons, each hand-built with a realistic heft and designed to sound fire in the style of their real-life counterparts. The arms are equipped with small laser sensors and eliminate the need for additional bulky vests, which has contributed to their use in the training programs of SWAT and law-enforcement teams and military personnel.