An active member of the American Dental Association, Dr. Michael Kirchner and his professional staff bequeath mouths with healthier bite bones using up-to-date techniques. During an examination, Dr. Kirchner delves into facial caverns to seek out cavities, periodontal disease, and gummy worms courting eligible tongues. A panoramic x-ray exposes full anterior and posterior mouthscapes and bitewing x-rays reveal any proximal molar decay. After a cleaning sloughs off unseasonable plaque jackets and kitschy tartar top hats, patients exit with a take-home whitening kit, with bleaching solution that safely excavates stains from enamel. Patients in need of premier fang-brightening can opt for the in-office Zoom! whitening treatment. Teeth don daubs of gel that, when triggered by an LED light, penetrates the enamel to break apart stains caused by caffeine, wine, and slanderous tongues.