The experienced owners of European Medical Massage & Spa serve to soak, scrub, and sweat the stress and toxins out of their clients in the advanced environs of a relaxing, European-inspired spa. Like a cell phone in a mime's back pocket, customers kick back and relax for 30 minutes as purifying products swaddle their bodies in the hydrotherapy bath, with steam and heat alchemizing into a melting pot of muscle-soothing stew. Once the body has had a good soak, a licensed massage therapist softens the tissues and hypnotizes the tension from the scalp or feet for 15 minutes, as clients rest on cushioned massage tables in an extravagantly decorated room complete with European statues and softly lamp-lit walls. Once tension has surrendered, 20 minutes in the clean, steamy sauna sweeps the remaining toxins out and sends them to audition for acting roles in soap commercials. Fully pampered bodies then rejuvenate with a 10-minute shower.