Pizza in Lincolnia

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The high levels of artificial preservatives and chemicals in modern pizza are the number-two cause of crow’s feet and dry mouth in America. Today's Groupon gets you $20 worth of fresh, organic pizza for $10 at zpizza, an oasis of natural, full-flavored pie in a wasteland of modern preservatives. zpizza offers bubbly pizza that’s safe for vegans, vegetarians, the gluten-shy, and snooty gourmands. Handcrafted rusticas join hot and cold sandwiches, crisp salads, and pasta on a menu full of organic options.A: Awful pizza. B: Bad Pizza. C: Crummy Pizza. D: Dad, I don’t eat pizza, I’m vegan now. E: Eat it, Stephanie, your mother worked hard on that pizza. F: Forgivably bad pizza, made by enthusiastic children.G: Gosh, this pizza is bad. H: Hey, everybody! I found an almost-untouched pizza on the bus!I: Insufficient portions of pizza. J: Just kidding, I’m not dying. I just wanted you to come over because I can’t finish this pizza. K: King Ralph wouldn’t even eat this pizza, and Wikipedia defines him as an “easy-going slob”! L: Lackluster pizza. M: Mediocre pizza.N: Not very good pizza. O: Okay pizza. P: Pizza (Italian, pronounced pit.tsa) is a world-popular dish of Italian origin, made with an oven-baked, flat, generally round bread that is often covered with tomatoes or a tomato-based sauce and cheese. Other toppings are added according to region, culture, or personal preference. Originating from Italian cuisine, the dish has become popular in many different parts of the world. A shop or restaurant that primarily makes and sells pizzas is called a pizzeria. The phrases pizza parlor, pizza place, and pizza shop are used in the United States. The term pizza pie is dialectal, and pie is used for simplicity in some contexts, such as among pizzeria staff.Q: Quietly hand me the pizza, and no harm will come to your beloved tarantula. R: Respectable pizza. S: Satisfactory pizza. T: Tony! Why come’a you don’t talk’a with’a fake Italian accent for the nice’a customers? U: Unexpectedly good pizza.V: Very good pizza. W: Whoah, who made this pizza, an angel? X: X-rays are a government conspiracy to increase your xenophobia and make you purchase xylophones. Y: Yikes! This pizza is so good it’s scary! Z: (see above)

6699 Frontier Dr
Springfield,
VA
US

Bozzelli's Italian Deli has been churning out hearty bread-and-meat combos for more than 30 years. Over the years, the menu has blossomed to include palate-pleasing subs such as the classic steak and cheese, honey ham, and various seafood creations ($6.55+ for 8''; $7.55+ for 12''). Transition to flatter eats with a hand-tossed pizza in a predesigned house flavor, or build your own pie from the bottom up ($5.99 and up). In addition to being a peak day for UFO sightings, Wednesdays are also lasagna days at Bozzelli's, when heaping layers of noodle-y, tomato-y goodness give pasta fans the strength to finish out the week.

8091 Alban Rd
Springfield,
VA
US

At Argia's, chef Ryan Baldini and proprietors Pragun and Salina Rana strike a balance between serving fine northern Italian cuisine and fostering a laid-back dining atmosphere. Many of Ryan's dishes, such as his grilled beef tenderloin and range of handmade pastas, come in solo portions or shareable famiglia servings that sate larger parties. For a taste of the kitchen's signature dish, guests can pry open a Prince Edward Island mussel—shipped to the restaurant daily—and sop up its juices with housemade bread still warm from the oven or a pet sea sponge in need of a soak. Outside, the clinking of wineglasses rings out across a patio enclosed by fragrant herbs; inside, a rustic Sienese-style mural matched with eye-catching frescoes conjures an air of the Italian countryside.

124 N Washington St
Falls Church,
VA
US

Perhaps it was being asked to cook at the James Beard House twice that gave Pizzeria Orso head chef Will Artley the nerve to take over a pizzeria where pies compete with a menu of his best small plates and entrees. Or maybe it was the time he was invited to cook at the White House. Whatever gave Will the courage, the second-place Chopped finisher’s culinary high-wire act is a thrilling one. The Neapolitan-style pizzas may share the limelight, but they are worthy headliners. They’re forged from fresh, naturally leavened bread and cooked for 90 seconds at 800 degrees in a handmade volcanic-brick oven. Toppings run the gamut from traditional margherita pies to meatier options loaded with ham, sausage, and prosciutto. Tasty shareable plates populate the equally ambitious antipasti selection, which includes grilled octopus, spinach gnocchi served with bacon and tomato, and oven-roasted meatballs. Button-upholstered booths populate Pizzeria Orso's dining room, resonating comfy vibes that underscore the menu's commitment to serving gourmet cuisine in a casual environment. Exposed wooden beams recall Old-World rusticity, and the open space grants just about every table an unobstructed view of the massive brick oven so they can flee if it becomes sentient and starts demanding the ingredients for s'mores.

400 S Maple Ave
Falls Church,
VA
US

At Pie-tanza, chefs slide Neapolitan-style pies into wood-fired ovens, along with assembling traditional Italian fare subs, and giant salads. With 35 toppings ($1.49 each), including pine nuts, pancetta, and fontina, diners can decorate a 12-inch pizza in countless fashions ($9.69) or select from specialty pies such as onion and gorgonzola pizza ($11.99). Meanwhile, nine pasta dishes such as the twice-baked meat lasagna ($11.99) fill the dining room with rich scents and 13 subs, sandwiches, and wraps keep hands from compulsively slapping their owner's cheeks. Customers celebrating a birthday or hosting a seminar can also count on Pie-tanza to cater their event with fare such as baked ziti ($44 for a half pan) and goat cheese salad ($46 for a large bowl).

2503 N Harrison St
Arlington,
VA
US

Pronounced “AH-beets,” Pete’s New Haven Style Apizza sets itself apart from more familiar pie prototypes with a crunchy yet chewy, stone oven-cooked crust, irregular shape, and massive size. Combining their roots in fine dining with a dedication to fresh and simple Italian cuisine, Pete’s chefs make the gluten-free pizza crust in-house each day and top pies with savory sauce and locally-sourced toppings that are farm-fresh, organic, or made in house. Their artisan approach means that each apizza emerges with its own imperfectly round shape, primarily served in 18-inch whole pies, single slices, or doughy maps of ancient Greek city-states.

Pete’s menu also encompasses wheat- and egg-based pastas including goat cheese and basil ravioli, homemade lasagna, and spaghetti Bolognese. The fortress of feasting also channels the vibes of a neighborhood bar with a variety of draft and bottled beers, eclectic décor, and oven doors that bark out patrons’ names when they walk through the door.

3017 Clarendon Blvd
Arlington,
VA
US