Things to Do in Maumee

Landmarks of standup for decades, Connxtions Comedy Clubs remain mainstays for up-and-coming comics and national stars, with a roster of past performers that includes Sinbad, Drew Carey, Tim Allen, D. L. Hughley, and Rob Schneider. Headlining comedians, many seen on national television, keep the venues teetering Thursday–Saturday nights, whereas Wednesday nights host improv spectacles and open mics where rookies can begin their ascent into stardom or descent into miming. While refueling chuckle tanks, duos and groups can split a savory appetizer, such as cheese bread or chicken wings, or enjoy a potent cocktail at the bar.

Uncork The Artist puts its mission right in its name, scheduling classes that help coax the creative energies out of every person who walks through the door. Provided snacks and sips of BYOB wine stimulate inner inspiration as patrons reproduce masterpieces with the studio's paints and brushes and guidance from local artists. Studio sessions can be modified to suit bachelorette parties, sorority functions, and date nights, or rendered alcohol-free to teach kids the joys of painting with something other than food.

Tampa's Cinco de Mayo Fiesta is a cultural cornucopia celebrating the Mexican holiday with music, dancing, food, activities, children's attractions, and a car and motorcycle show. Follow the incipient online schedule—or flip through the Facebook page—for the still-developing calendar, which includes events such as salsa-dancing lessons, a tongue-tickling chili contest, and the glamorous Miss Tampa Latina pageant. During the daily happy hour 3 p.m.–6 p.m., thirsty guests can enjoy one free beer. Take in a salsa lesson, then meander over to the other salsa camp, where recently steadied shoulders will be tested against fiery tortilla-toppers at the salsa tasting station. While proud car owners buff their road babies for Friday's car and motorcycle show, their flesh-based brood can clamber (supervised) through the children's area and carnival rides.

Inside a sprawling, 4,000-square-foot laser-tag arena, sharpshooters 7 years and older strap on chest pieces and unholster their electronic arms. Competitors crouch and weave through black-lit battlefields as they confuse enemies by flanking their position and producing duck calls to the tune of “Bennie and the Jets.” Guests can take a break to scramble up the sides of a rock-climbing wall, or they can sharpen their thumbs in the arcade arena. Q-Zar also hosts group birthday parties and team-building outings, during which coworkers can silently stalk each other in the dark before pouncing to intercept a trust fall.

The roar of rushing of water echoes through the towering walls of Splash Bay Water Park, where slides, rivers, and pools stretch across a 35,000-square-foot indoor facility. Kiddie pools ripple with whippersnappers clambering upon play structures and tumbling off giant lily pads, and inner tubes careen down a lazy river. After snaking and weaving riders across the rafters, three lofty slides fire their passengers out into pools below, and adults can lounge under a warm waterfall pouring into the giant hot tub.

Red Cross–certified lifeguards survey the scene all the while, quick to blow whistles at horseplay or beluga whales that have snuck through the hot-tub jets. On the upper deck, a snack bar peddles snacks and drinks, and arcade games glimmer, hum, and dole out prizes. Dried off guests can take advantage of the park's onsite hotel, complete with family suites and a restaurant.

The entry door slams shut, and you immediately plunge into a world of terror and macabre. Skeletons hang from a dungeon's walls, maniacal clowns run through a fun house, and a blood-spattered bathroom horrifyingly runs out of soap. This is Dimensions of Darkness, a haunted walk-through that takes brave souls across a maze of terrifying rooms with even more terrifying inhabitants. The fright fest has caught the attention of USA Today and the Toledo Free Press, which noted that "each room, hallway and prop is so well-crafted that if you’re not being stalked by one of the resident ghouls, your focus is on how real everything feels."

Thoroughly immersed in their roles, live actors pop out at guests, thus filling every room with an orchestra of screams. Meanwhile, fog creeps over the floors and creepy sounds build tension between every scare. But despite this terror, visitors are never trapped. Security officers, each thoroughly vaccinated against zombies, stand ready to lead guests to the nearest exit should they wish to depart early.