Things to Do in Mount Holly

In 2003, QuickShot Paintball set up its base camp in the back of a food mart; since then, its headquarters has grown to feature six playing fields and a fully loaded pro shop. After choosing a game format such as capture the flag, elimination, or scenario play, you can deploy your team to any of five woodsball fields. Obstacles and hiding spots are scattered throughout the arenas; on the Pond field, for example, teams can dart past a number of water features. Meanwhile, inflatable bunkers are speckled throughout the regulation speedball field, which has brightly colored grass thanks to its special irrigation system and regular shower of green paintballs. After matches, players can retire to the pro shop to check out a full stock of markers, equipment, and tactical apparel.

“This ‘PC’ world has never been more ready for Sarcasm,” exclaims Sarcasm Comedy Club founder Steve Trevelise. The WIP radio personality and veteran comedian, who honed his emceeing and managerial chops at the esteemed Catch a Rising Star, believes that “the comedy stage is the last place for freedom of speech.” Although some shows are rated PG and some are hard R’s, Sarcasm Comedy Club refuses to sanitize its performers for sensitive ears. For those who can take a joke, the uncensored humor hub’s calendar offers two Saturday-night shows per week that spotlight local cutups and national headliners. Those who dream of becoming comedians themselves can enlist in the Sarcasm Comedy School, in which they’ll learn the craft of standup, including joke writing, audience mining, and how to make your own heckler spray.

PGA-certified instructor Michael Lanzetta imparts golf wisdom from the expansive practice facilities at Mansfield Golf and Learning Center, which he has owned and operated since 1997. The passionate pedagogue sleeps on a bed of neatly mown bentgrass to maintain the pin-hunting skills that led him to victory in more than 100 competitive tournaments, including the New Jersey Head Professional Championship. A simple teaching philosophy of improving clients’ ball-striking fundamentals is the driving force of every lesson, during which pupils crush orbs from a 36-stall, 14-acre driving range, which features covered, enclosed stalls to offset meteorological uncertainties. Lessons may also include the use of video analysis, which plays back shots in slow motion and introduces players to a digital doppelgänger soon to be their inferior. Mansfield Golf also showcases a pro shop that carries golf equipment from top brands and offers club fitting, repair, and regripping services.

Composed of head instructor Dave Barnes and Refresher course instructor Melissa Rybicki, Scubadelphia's diving duo teaches underwater maneuverability during an array of classes. The twosome stages lessons in classroom and pool settings, and the curriculum includes PADI Open Water Diver certification and specialties such as Wreck Diver, Rescue Diver, and Divemaster, a title normally bestowed on those who can break dance on a diving board. Scubadelphia also stocks a full range of scuba gear in its dog-friendly shop, overseen by Obie, Scubadelphia's perpetual four-legged employee of the month.

Fountain of Yoga's staff focuses on motivating its clients toward complete wellness through yoga, and tension- and pain-relieving therapies. In calming, subdued lighting, the instructors lead students through Vinyasa yoga classes in which they synchronize deep breathing to a quick, flowing series of poses. In each session, students can perform more challenging or easier movements based on their abilities, and the instructors walk around the classroom to offer slight modifications to help them to perfect their technique. Furthering their relaxation services, instructors soothe clients and assuage their aches with massage and reiki services by appointment.

At any given moment, 150,000 gallons of water are churning through CoCo Key Water Resort, fueling the nearly 1,000 feet of water slides weaving through the 55,000-square-foot indoor water park attached to the Hotel ML. On the slide Shark Slam, patrons plummet four stories, and on the Dip-In Theater little ones gently glide into a one-foot wading pool. Kids of all ages scale Parrot's Perch, firing water cannons across the colorful jungle gym and drenching playmates with buckets of water. Adults can take a relaxing approach to their day at the park and drift down the 300-foot lazy river or soak in the kid-free indoor and outdoor whirlpools.

Out of the water, the play-till-you-win Key Quest Arcade guarantees each gamer a victory on high-profile games, such as Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution. The water park also houses three on-site eateries and a full-service bar.