Primos Barber Shop offers a variety of grooming services for men of all ages amid a retro-meets-recent atmosphere. After plopping down into a comfy, oversized barber chair, customers can sip on a complimentary beverage as expert scissor wielders tend to their scratchy scalp sweaters, starting with an American Crew shampoo. Necks and shoulders are then freed of tension with a relaxing massage after a trim or buzz frees hair of sticky wasp nests. Warm towels and Truefitt & Hill shaving cream soften the skin before faces are transformed into sleek visages with a straight-edge razor.
Within the funky, upbeat confines of this Paul Mitchell Focus studio, D&L’s follicular fanatics refurbish lady locks and man manes with timeless and inimitable looks. Opt for a sassy snip and clip with an advanced hair artist ($65), or master hair artist ($75), all schooled in the art of noggin nest rejuvenation. A hair blow ($45) imparts beautiful blasts of heat for precisely sculpted scalps (included with all cuts), and the uptown girl ($75) upsweeps strands for special occasions such as weddings, high-school reunions, or upscale stuffed-animal parties.
Upon arrival at Myra & Company's multifaceted beauty emporium, guests are warmly greeted and ushered into either a tranquil treatment room or the state-of-the-art Pilates studio. Body-buffers can relax and unwind as an expert scrubber sweeps away dead skin cells during the 30-minute invigorating body scrub. Choose from one of seven specially scented scrubs, such as Sacred Earth, a mixture of vanilla, cinnamon, and shea butter, or Transcendent Sun, a holiday spice, cocoa butter, and superheated-ionized-hydrogen scrub. To loosen, strengthen, and lengthen the body, opt for a quintuplet of Pilates Equipment classes, an exercise system based on balance, strength, and flexibility. During each 60-minute class, students target a variety of muscle groups using a system of floor exercises and innovative Pilates equipment. Or, combat stress, aging, and the negative effects of the environment with a rejuvenating collagen and vitamin C facial. The 90-minute hydrating facial employs a bevy of antioxidants to stimulate cell growth and fight free radicals and beauty-ambushing wrinkle guerrillas.
Detlev Hair Studio's experienced aestheticians smooth out hirsute humans with follicle-felling treatments culled from its extensive menu of waxing services. Prep gams for a summery showcase with a lower-leg wax ($35), or prod eyebrows toward good behavior with a brow shaping ($23), transforming eye adornments into sleek lines or hidden Morse-code messages. Salon-goers can rid shoulders of fuzz ($25), neaten up a bikini line ($28), or de-fur chests ($40) while tucked within the angular, modern confines of Detlev’s cosmetically minded atelier. Detlev aids busy clients in their hair-removal quest by keeping doors open from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., seven days a week, removing unwanted stubble before morning commutes or after evening werewolf hunts.
LVS Salon Group's continually educated staff indulges clients' every feature with a kaleidoscopic slate of hair, nail, and skin services. While a stylist brightens a mane with highlights or blow-dries locks, a multitasking patron can lend paws to a technician for a professional manicure and pedicure crowned in durable gel lacquers or acrylic nails. For at-home beauty care or to sate the whines of unpampered mannequins, the salon stocks a brigade of products that includes Creative Nail Design, Matrix, Marilyn Brush, and Moroccanoil.
Yes, there have been times when I've wished I could do it all myself. Times I've dreamed of snipping through those blond and amber tendrils bound only by the vast horizon of my will, wholly immune to the whims of that hand which guides my every move. Such bondage! Tell me—what able-bodied creature does not crave an accomplishment to call his own? What noble steed has not dreamed of charging into battle with a sword clutched in his hoof rather than with a cumbersome knight straddling his back?
Granted, I am just a pair of scissors. But do I not have a soul? Do I not, like she who grasps me, have two arms? I would happily give them both for a voice with which to lament my pitiful condition. I have much to be thankful for—this much is true. My blades are sharp; my reflexes strong. Alas, my strengths are not entirely my own.
But when we work in tandem, her and I—when her hands fuse to my handles and I respond to the touch of her fingers before they even squeeze … well, that’s when the existential dread falls away like so many clipped tresses to the floor, replaced by an overwhelming sense of duty, adventure, even—dare I say it?—pride.
Together, we are no less than trail scouts, blazing through chaotic thickets in the name of civilization. Together, we have conquered the stubbornest of cowlicks and disciplined the most uneven of bangs. We've felt the hard rain of spray bottles pound upon us as we marched around the ear line and ascended toward the highest summits of the scalp.
I have listened for—and hear even now!—a chorus of blow-dry minstrels that sings of our conquests. The tales of our triumphs have spread to the farthest-flung corners of DiGiovanni Beauty Salon. Those who enter from the outside world may not know my name, but when they ask for my stylist, who does she fetch from the blue well of barbicide? No one but I!
To conquer the unkempt. To restore order to a world entangled in chaos. These are my goals. Yes, I am just a pair of scissors. But my blades are sharp, my reflexes are strong, and my victories outnumber the hairs on the most fertile scalps my arms have traversed.