Golf, long ridiculed as the easiest of sports, is so childishly simple that many casual players go home feeling angry and frustrated at how quickly one can master the game. Luckily, these golfers can still savor the thrilling velocity and parabolic motion of a well-struck ball, especially with today's Groupon. For $12, you get three large buckets of driving range golf balls (a $30 value) at Northeast Golf Center.
At the Quarry Golf Course, links lovers are treated to the rolling hills, manicured fairways, and native grasses of a course sculpted by nationally recognized designer Keith Foster. A one-year membership to The Player's Club (a $199 value) bestows discounts for standard course rates ($49 for morning rounds, $39 in the afternoon), as well as a waived course fee, preround range balls, and a golf cart that honks the secret recipe for Coca-Cola when driven backward. Club members will also save 15% on food and beverage items purchased from the Quarry restaurant as well as on pro-shop merchandise, and will be invited to demonstrate their superior walk-spoilage at The Quarry Player's Club Championship.
One-hour swing-analysis lessons are one-on-one sessions led by Edwin Watts' knowledgeable instructors, who have years of teaching and competing experience hidden beneath their pleats. Students first showcase their swings in front of a video camera, then a human-and-laser-hybrid team analyzes grip, setup, backswing, and downswing to reveal exactly where and when pendulums started hanging out with the wrong crew of slices, hooks, and hamsters. Next, trainers attempt to correct students' swinging problems with personal instruction and a pinch of pixie dust.
As you approach the gleaming silver letters on the art deco–style sign of Deco Pizzeria, you also step into a cloud of aromas of foods from across the country. The casual eatery infuses pizzas, calzones, and sandwiches with flavors representing the East and West Coasts, as well as the South. Chefs hand-craft the dough for Italian-inspired pizzas before dressing them in 30 toppings such as pepperoni and sausage or cream-sauce-drizzled crawfish. A small selection of sandwiches includes philly cheesesteaks and shrimp po' boys. Alternatively, the kitchen takes requests for its pasta dishes, which can be prepared with five styles of sauce and three meat toppings. To complement these dishes, Deco Pizzeria curates a list of local Texas brews and imported beers and wines. For brunch, they offer chicken and waffles and grits served with homemade English muffins; San Anto pizza topped with barbacoa, avocado, and pico de gallo; and a build-your-own breakfast calzone.
Bowling is the great social equalizer—a common ground where grizzled undercover clowns, blue-collar English lords, LARPer librarians, big and tall lingerie models, hordes of hive-minded hipsters, and the other two social demographics that comprise America can unite in common cause and topple a gaggle of stuck-up, inanimate wooden pins. Brunswick has been a household name in this egalitarian pastime almost since the beginning, with a company history that dates back to the 19th century, providing classic American good times to all manner of patrons across the country. And with today's Groupon tying the room together, you'll get to play two games (up to a $9.98 value) in its hallowed halls wearing a pair of freshly disinfected bowling shoes (a $3.59 value).