Seattle Spa and Massage

Chiropractic experts at The Vital Energy Center use the Myovision SEMG to detect vertebral subluxations by measuring the amount of electrical activity that muscles release when they're tense. Then they use their hands to give really good massages. Choose from three different hour-long, muscle-melting massages from Vital Energy's expert therapists (graduates of the Soma Institute of Neuromuscular Integration and the Wellspring School for Healing Arts). Vital Energy is the only place in Seattle where you can get an AMMA massage: an atypical, Eastern medicinal rub that includes nutritional advice, herbal therapies, and other health suggestions like "pecans may or may not give you eternal life" or "you should work out in my garage when I'm not home."

Pamper yourself at the ultra-comfy, mega-relaxing, über-friendly-staffed Salon Dewi, home of The Waxing Diva. This Groupon gets you $120 worth of body-wraps, body-polishes, and massages for just $60 at this premier Seattle Magazine-featured salon.

Like your unemployed younger brother, hair can sometimes show up uninvited and refuse to leave. Today’s Groupon will rid you of stray strands with the services of a hair-removal expert. For $25, you’ll get $60 worth of waxing from PowerSpa Skin Care & Waxing. Follow @Groupon_Says on Twitter.

Make yourself look like you spent the past month in Mexico sunbathing while you fished salmon with a pair of socks and three feet of copper wire. For $40, you get one month of unlimited access to Planet Bronze Tanning Salon (a $100 value), a spotlessly clean tanning salon in Renton.Red: You were born in Montana and your childhood best friend called you Puddin. Yellow: Every September 17, you get a migraine headache as you are visited by the ghost of the former mayor of Raleigh, North Carolina: Avery C. Upchurch. Green: Your embarrassing victory on a 2004 episode of Jeopardy! caused you to become estranged from your family. Orange: When you were 21, you gained the ability to communicate with hungry dogs.

The Loft’s peaceful sanctuary on Third Avenue offers clients a bevy of hair beautifying services and a tranquil locale for mop-top pampering. Savvy snippists shear strands and cut lengthy locks down to size before shaping and sculpting manes into a desired style. Shorten follicles with a women’s haircut ($45+) and a men’s haircut ($25+), or accent head coverings with a full color treatment ($45+) and highlights ($50+).

Pack your aches in a flat-rate UPS box and deliver them into the healing hands of Helix Massage Therapy. With today's Groupon, $42 gets you a 70-minute therapeutic massage from Helix (an $85 value). Helix's massage therapists are versed in a variety of techniques, allowing them to identify and relieve sources of distress from back and neck pain to cramps to athletic injuries to anxiety to reindeer feet.Q: Where am I? What year is this?! Who are you?! A: You are receiving a massage. It is natural to become so relaxed that you lose your mental faculties.