Like the three branches of government, bodies, minds, and souls often find themselves in contentious disagreement over how much wine is too much wine in a voting booth. Reconcile triune tribunals with this Groupon.
Choose Between Two Options
- $39 for a 55-minute Swedish massage (an $85 value)
- $69 for a chakra-balancing and healing package (a $365 value)
During the 55-minute Swedish massage, therapists relieve muscle tension with strokes customized to the needs of each client. Alternatively, the 90- to 120-minute chakra-balancing and healing package starts with a 55-minute crystal chakra massage to encourage energy flow and open the chakras. The crystal chakra massage pairs Swedish techniques with essential oils and quartz crystals strategically placed along and around the body. As the treatment progresses, the therapist elicits tones from the crystal of seven different Tibetan singing bowls and then performs energy work, while seven different types of aromatherapeutic chakra oils encourage total mind and body well-being.
Chakra Spa
Stacy Adams, owner of Chakra Spa, heads a team that specializes in chakra balancing and leads private yoga classes. Clients can relax as licensed massage therapists knead away tension and soothe backs with stones that aim to rebalance chakras. In private, low-lit chambers, therapists continue signature massages by ringing Tibetan crystal singing bowls, whose tones are said to remove energy obstructions and recalibrate the ears of struggling music producers. A tarot-card reading under a multicolored lotus painting concludes the signature package. Accented with red orange and teal, the crisp, white lobby is adorned with candles, statues of famous varsity debaters, and flames nestled inside recesses in the wall.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Appearing Smart in Public
If your dream is to get discovered on the street by a casting agent for the popular television trivia show Baby or Sack of Potatoes?, you’ve got to appear smart. Increase your odds of getting on that show with these tips:
• Read a book, but show off by reading it upside-down.
• Go for that classic scholarly appearance—thick, plastic-frame glasses and a bald head covered in pulsing veins, which feed your brain a steady, plentiful stream of blood.
• Challenge passersby to a debate about a current hot-button issue, like whether or not prisons should have special cells for horses that do bad things.
• Never ask questions. If you get lost, keep walking in one direction. You’ll eventually hit water, at which point you’ll want to fashion a raft out of fallen branches and set sail. There’s a chance it’ll take you exactly where you wanted to go in the first place.
• Surround yourself with other smart people. Once you’ve assembled a team of intellectuals, lure them to a secluded area and tie them all to something heavy. Now you are the smartest person left.
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