The deal is on!
Unlike a reflection on the surface of a tranquil pond, a photograph is not easily disturbed by human cannonballs or a group of watermelon sellers disposing of an overripe batch. Protect your likeness from impact with today’s Groupon: for $49, you get a 60-minute photo session (a $125 value), a choice of two 8”x10” prints (a $100 value) or 16 wallet images (a $50 value), four 5”x7” prints (a $100 value), and a CD with two digital images (a $100 value) from Kelly Rockhold Photography (a $425 total value). Travel fees may apply for locations outside of Jefferson County. This Groupon is not valid for weddings.
Specializing in senior portraits, engagements, and family photos, Kelly Rockhold Photography snaps professional shots of even the most photophobic customers, successfully recording proof of life before it flees into the past. Families or individuals can choose their own modeling spots (an urban, historic downtown, or a park location) and bend, contort, and jimmy-jam their bodies into as many poses as they can fit into the 60-minute session. In addition to the prints and CD of two digital photos, photo subjects will skip away with e-shareable web-sized photos (400x600 pixels) tagged with Kelly Rockhold Photography's watermark to ensure the photos aren't used in airline safety brochures without consent. This Groupon also gives customers a 25% discount on all additional print orders of more than $100. Call ahead to schedule an appointment.
Reviews
Kelly Rockhold Photography has more than 400 Facebook fans, where five reviewers give her an average of five stars:
- I wanted to find a true artist for our wedding, someone who would capture our big day in it's [sic] rawest form. We most definitely found that in Kelly. – Angela B.
- I wanted a different look for my Senior Pictures. Instead of the whole fake backgrounds and "sets" , Kelly took my Senior Pictures downtown. They turned out wonderful! – Caroline H.
Groupon Says
Why It's Illegal to Photograph the Moon
Photography was invented in 1908 for the purpose of shaming racehorses into running faster. Embarrassed at the implied speed of their still portraits, horses doubled their speeds within a year. The new technology quickly gained popularity with a myriad of other velocity-related applications, including the use of photography to shame children into growing faster. By 1950, the average height in the United States was 11 feet.
As a race of giants, Americans quickly outgrew the planet Earth and entered the moon race against the shorter Soviets. Unfortunately, once both countries had established their moon bases, the moon's negligible gravitational pull gave the smaller, lighter cosmonauts an advantage, and the Americans were badly defeated in the First Moon War. For this reason, it is now illegal to talk about, think of, or photograph the moon.
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