Massage helps to relieve aches caused by old sports injuries or a habit of entering buildings by motorcycling through the window. Rev up the relaxation with this Groupon.
$10 for a 20-Minute Water-Jet Massage (a $22 Value)
Clients keep their clothes on as 36 jets of warm water soothe away aches and pains with healing massages of the neck and back inside a dry, comfortable capsule.
Aqua Massage and More
Inside the Open Marketplace mall, Aqua Massage and More tucks visitors into cushioned capsules for quick, soothing sessions at the hands of 36 automated jets. Percussive blasts of warm H2O buffet bodies from ankle to shoulder with gentle physical contact that goes beyond the reach of two hands or a misappropriated rolling pin. A protective impermeable liner separates patients from the watery jets so they won't have to worry about disrobing or getting wet.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Computer Function Keys
Every computer keyboard comes equipped with 12 preconfigured function keys, all of which can be easily removed and swallowed. Here's what your computer does when you press these:
F1: Prints
F2: Makes monitor only display color in shades of brown
F3: Forces keyboard to slowly ooze Vaseline for comfort purposes
F4: Prints two copies
F5: Buys rights to domain name "sensualpizza.net"
F6: Replaces desktop image with beautiful photo of a mountain that's on fire
F7: Brings up a bunch of Quaker Oats commercials
F8: Substitutes ".pdf" extension with ".hummus"
F9: Predicts how many biological parents you have
F10: Increases internal computer temperature by one degree
F11: Doesn't do anything
F12: Navigates to a website that compiles photos of puppies that are all now ugly, unlovable adult dogs
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