Though fake vampire fangs were originally designed to conceal uncleanly teeth, their waxy composition rendered them useless for chewing anything but dough balls dipped in water. Properly protect pointy chompers with today’s Groupon: for $35, you get a comprehensive dental package at Right Dental Group (a $300 value). This Groupon is valid at two Milwaukee-area locations. The dental package includes:
- Exam
- Cleaning
- X-rays
With hundreds of locations across the country, Right Dental Group represents a collection of oral-health-care professionals who deliver a variety of quality dental services. The collective places an emphasis on relationship building—meaning patients can confess their most egregious toffee-apple trespasses while receiving a teeth scrubbing delivered with precision and understanding. Each of the dentists is prescreened for a consistent record of excellence and the ability to efficiently locate a cavity in a toothstack.
A skilled doctor and staff will skillfully probe forgotten mouth corners, eradicating tartar and expunging plaque from bacterial lairs. The included x-rays will help uncover any oral problem areas that cannot be seen with the shamelessly naked eye. After treatment, clients will be privy to tips that explain the proper brushing and flossing techniques to ward off gum disease and tooth loss, ensuring tongue-stoppers remain firmly rooted to the rest of the skeletal system.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Movie Ratings
Nothing poses a bigger threat to our nation’s youth than exposure to images of the human body or words that describe going to the bathroom. Use the following rating guides to keep your child safe from that torrent of filth they call "the movie business":
G: These movies contain just the right amount of sleaze: none. Enjoy your movie about a towel who saves Christmas or a mouse who goes in some direction and becomes a cowboy.
PG: Still OK for the wee ones, these movies are usually rated as such for depicting animals talking, thus destroying everything we know about the natural order.
PG-13: Oh boy, here we go. Use your discretion here. These movies are allowed to have one scene of brief spitting and often feature frank depictions of France.
R: For adults only! Be prepared to see machine guns wearing bras or two cars with giant lips on their grills smash into each other.
X: My cousin is allowed to watch these. He has real nunchucks that his stepdad bought him.
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