Ninety percent of alleged UFO sightings can be easily explained as falling meteors, swamp-gas reflections, or doughy orbs hurled into orbit by Herculean pizza makers. Enjoy earthbound eats with today's Groupon: for $8, you get $16 worth of Italian American fare at SoLo Pizza.
SoLo Pizza fills hollow stomachs with a menu of casual Italian American edibles, including the main attraction: pizza cooked in a wood-fired oven. The Adriatico pizza is a pleasing pie comprising extra-virgin olive oil and artichoke hearts tossed among plum tomatoes, spinach, black olives, onions, all tucked beneath a crocheted quilt of mozzarella and feta ($6.95–$15.95). In addition to build-your-own pizza options ($4.95–$12.95+), diners can dive fork-first into a pile of leafy greens, such as the barbecue-chicken chop salad, graced with crispy white onions, roma tomatoes, and crowned by a drizzling of balsamic vinaigrette ($11.95). To help prevent meals from feeling lonelier than an ear at a silent film festival, pair the feast with a selection from the quaint wine list.
While dining, soak up the restaurant's laid-back atmosphere or become hypnotized by the mosaic of flames surrounding the hungry mouth of the wood-fired oven. A sleek marble counter topped with granite completes the interior's sleek aesthetic, which was masterminded by local eye-candy factory Flux Design.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: the Golden Rule
The Golden Rule states simply what the Categorical Imperative states complexly: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Here's a guide to treating others the way you want to be treated:
If your neighbor steals your morning paper: Start ordering a second paper so that there's one for each of you. Then, buy a second lawnmower, a second identical car, and a second home while you're at it so that you've made your point as passive-aggressively as possible.
If your fireplace won't start: If you want it to burn, you'll need to burn yourself. Do so metaphorically by rolling around on some orange and red construction paper or literally by doing the same thing vigorously and with great speed.
If your personal trainer has turned into a silverfish: Don't touch him, because his curse is likely transferable. Instead, return him to his human form by complimenting his athletic progress while gently pushing him to reach ever-greater heights of performance.
If you are being robbed at shoutpoint: A loud shout is scarier than a knife or gun (because you never know how loud it could get), so it's natural to hand over your goods to your attacker. Show him how you'd like to be treated by robbing someone nearby and then immediately donating that money to charity.
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