Most modern cuisine is a continuation of classic dishes, just as a computer is a slightly modified typewriter and a washing machine is a river in a box. Revel in palatable progress with today's Groupon for sandwiches, pizza, seafood, and breakfast fare at Bayside Grill in Excelsior. Choose from the following options:
•For $10, you get $20 worth of dockside dinner and drinks, valid Monday through Friday from 3 p.m. to close.
•For $10, you get $20 worth of dockside lunch and drinks, valid Monday through Friday from 11 a.m to 3 p.m.
•For $5, you get $10 worth of dockside breakfast and drinks, valid Saturday and Sunday from 8:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m.
On a dock overlooking Lake Minnetonka, Bayside Grill complements tranquil views with eclectic selections from a lunch and dinner menu as well as a breakfast menu of internationally inspired dishes. Appetite-seducing starters include the smoked gouda & lager fondue, a steamy vessel of beer-infused and smoked gouda cheese served with dipping morsels such as apples, vegetables, and tiny scuba divers ($9.25). Bayside Grille's chefs hand-roll the crust of their Mediterranean pizza, brushing it with basil pesto and littering the doughy canvas with kalamata olives, roasted corn, and pine nuts before signing the finished pie with a cursive variant of pepperoncini ($10.25). Sandwiches and salads share the bill with entrees such as the hickory smoked half-chicken bathed in apple cider and rubbed with a house blend of seasonings ($12.95). Those who opt for the breakfast option can inaugurate the day over lemon ricotta waffles with whipped cream and strawberries ($7.75) or a bayside breakfast burrito of scrambled eggs and cheddar cheese with a choice of gourmet meats ($8.75).
Diners can cozy up to the waters of Lake Minnetonka beneath royal blue awnings on the dockside deck or stay inside, where a wood-inlaid fireplace spills warmth over hardwood floors and large windows let booth sitters digest stunning views. Periodic live music feeds ears, and three bars—one indoors and two outdoors—challenge the wisdom that water, water everywhere means a paucity of drink.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to the "Quiet Period"
The "Quiet Period" is the time right before a company "goes public," during which it is legally prohibited from saying anything to the press that may make the company look "good," "successful," or "not currently on fire." During this sensitive time, it is the duty of the press to force the adolescent company through a series of brutal hazing rituals, designed to desensitize it to public criticism. This tough love helps the naively optimistic company to thicken its skin, atrophy its soul, and finally grow up into a real corporation. Here are some traditional hazing rituals you can use to torture companies in a quiet period:
- Wait until the company is sleeping to smear scream-activated bees on its face. Lesson Learned: Don't believe your company's own "buzz."
- Photoshop the company's logo to appear to be shaking hands with James Buchanan, America's worst president. Lesson Learned: Everything you see or read about a company is true, if it's on a computer.
- Use the company's cell phone to text a vote for the new M&M's color to be a sickly ashen gray. Lesson Learned: Customers aren't capable of making their own decisions.
- Kick sand in the company's face. Lesson Learned: If the company survives, it's time to move on to sand's close relative, powdered glass.
- Write disparaging articles about the company. Lesson Learned: That's what they get for trying to be a company.
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