A relaxing ride in a limo may conjure up pleasant memories of your wedding day or nostalgia for fancy road trips you took as a young adult. Enjoy the luxury of legroom with today’s Groupon: for $50, you get $100 worth of limo and transportation services from River Valley Limo.
River Valley Limo's professional chauffeurs transport denizens of the eastern Twin Cities and western Wisconsin regions in a fleet of stylish luxury vehicles. Commuters may select any ride from options including a four-passenger Cadillac SUV ($50/hour), a party bus complete with neon lights and a dancing pole, and a classic Lincoln Town Car stretch limousine with two flat-screen TVs, beverage coolers for stocking bottled water or bubbling champagne, and car-horn karaoke. Riders may request an assortment of flowers, DVDs, or beverages completely free of charge to accompany them on their journey.
Rates vary by vehicle, and rentals can range from one-hour limousine joy rides ($140) to eight-hour, full-day excursions ($560). The four-hour split ($350) provides prom- or concertgoers three hours of chauffeuring before an event, and one hour afterward for drop-off and corsage taxidermy.
Groupon Says
Petting an Animal
Petting an animal can lower your heart rate, decrease blood pressure, and soothe burned hands, as animal skin secretes a constant stream of aloe. Here are steps you can take to reap the health benefits of petting:
- Find an animal to pet. The best places to look are in garbage cans behind fast-food restaurants and inside the houses of lonely adults.
- Study the animal to gauge whether or not it can be approached. There are a few telltale signs that an animal wants human contact: its hair stands on end, which makes it easier for you to run your fingers through, and it foams at the mouth, which allows you to wash your hands before and after petting.
- Let the animal know you aren't a threat. Accomplish this by yelling about how you don't have any weapons or ties to fur traders. It's important to be as loud as possible because most animals' ear canals are blocked by silver dollars.
- Approach the animal as fast as possible. This way, the animal will know you are just as excited as it is.
- Pet the animal. Remember, the harder you pet, the easier it will be to determine whether or not you're petting an animal or an illusory manifestation of your own longing.
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