In nature, the only way for animals to achieve perfect vision is to crossbreed with an eagle, usually resulting in eagle-eyed abominations such as snakes with talons and flying pumas. Keeping human senses sharp is a less formidable task, as today’s Groupon proves: for $40, you get $220 toward a complete pair of new glasses (consisting of frames and prescription lenses) at Visionary Optical's two new locations in Edina and Minneapolis.
Specializing in progressive, high-prescription, and thin lenses, the professional sight correctors at Visionary Optical—independently overseen by owner Nina Levitus, who brings 35 years of experience—help eyeglass wearers navigate through myriad frame and lens options. Decorate a brow ridge's basement with a set of plastic, metal, vintage, or rimless frames ($120+) that flatter temples from every angle. Single-vision lenses ($129+) enhance retinas' natural beauty, and progressive varieties ($259+) can assist in reading the fine print on a two-toned prism. Anti-reflective coating including scratch- and UV-protection ($79) ensures continued clear vision for owners of radioactive cats.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Ferrari Ownership
Once you ascend to the exciting and dignified world of Ferrari ownership, you’ll notice that food tastes better, the air smells sweeter, and dunks are 73% raunchier. Here are some tips that will prolong the life of your Sweet Kitten (an official slang term for Ferraris):
Give the Brake a Break: This Hot Baby (official Ferrari slang [OFS]) was made to fly, not obey traffic rules. Remember, most police officers/angry parents really only want their picture taken next to your Ferrari.
Clean the Sheen on Your Mean Machine: Don’t take this Thunder Nugget (OFS) to any two-bit car-washing place. A ride this primo should be wiped down with the fontanel of a newborn horse, or, at least, an underwear model’s birth certificate.
Full Moon = Full Vroom: If the moon is in its full phase, then pull your Phantom Tickler (OFS) out of the drive-in humidor and let her howl at the moon by revving that imported engine. Let the neighbors know who’s boss while simultaneously expelling the (now on fire) owls who like to nest in the Ferrari's gorgeous chassis.
Endorse the Horse: Ferrari makes clothes and sunglasses with its signature horse logo that you can wear to let people know that you drive one of their Velvet Grandpas (OFS).
Comment on our feelings board
