Muscle weighs more than fat, making retired bodybuilders nature's best paperweights. Get buff and avoid scattered utility bills with today's Groupon to Wolves Den Fitness, with locations in Eden Prairie and Minnetonka. Choose from the following options:
- For $39, you get 10 drop-in fitness classes (a $150 value).
- For $59, you get 20 drop-in fitness classes (a $200 value).
- For $99, you get a two-hour pole party for up to 20 people (a $300 value).
- For $99, you get a two-hour princess- or superhero-costume themed kids' party for up to 20 people (a $300 value).
Wolves Den Fitness's expert instructors help pupils sculpt sleek physiques with a schedule of pole-dancing, kickboxing, and Pilates classes. The 90-minute Wolves Den class arms students with Muay Thai, boxing, and mixed martial arts techniques to burn fat by pummeling punching bags. In the boxing class, students struggle to translate old records of Mickey Goldmill ramblings while striking speed bags and focus mitts. Ladies twirl around gleaming silver posts in the pole-dancing class, which plies pupils with the know-how to execute physically challenging choreographed dances. Pilates classes let students flex their guns in low-impact workouts designed to build up lean muscle mass and flexibility. Beat up on flab with a diverse array of martial arts moves during kickboxing classes, gleaning techniques to use against your stuffed animals' bullies.
Wolves Den’s pole parties serve as memorable, provocative activities for bachelorette parties, girls’ nights out, or firefighter class reunions. Over two hours, up to 20 pole-dancing partygoers burn through hundreds of calories in a fun, empowering environment before chomping and slurping through complimentary cake and champagne. For a family-oriented affair, up to 20 kids and parents can celebrate a birthday with a princess- and superhero-themed costume party hosted for the first hour by the guest of honor's favorite hero or heroine. Birthday parties come with a cake, games, and other activities, as well as complete gym access for the full two hours.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Houseguests
Houseguests can be old friends, in-laws, or wandering strangers who hate personal space. Here's a guide to handling houseguests:
• Clean Up: No one wants to visit a dirty home, so be sure to clean up any dust, broken glass, or nude wall art that may have collected.
• Put Out Fresh Linens: Human skin cannot be exposed to any linens with a thread count of less than 600. If you don't have 600-count sheets, make them by layering three 200-thread-count sheets and stapling them together.
• Entertain Them: Houseguests love games, but never challenge them to a game of charades. They are masters of deception who can shape-shift into any movie, book, or Tom Hanks, and after they win, they will insist on giving your spouse a lingering victory hug.
• Make Them Comfortable: Though a houseguest's main duty is to make you uncomfortable by hiding in the bathroom until you accidentally walk in on them, you still must make them feel comfortable. Cover the floors of your home with mattresses to make them feel as comfortable as they'd be if they were in their own home or walking on their own government-sanctioned mattresses.
• Feed Them: When left to fend for themselves in the kitchen, houseguests will only feel comfortable eating the cardboard box that surrounds cereal. Let them know that they can eat anything they want as long as they promise to not ingest any of your kitchen's powerful and expensive smells.
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