A strong resumé is like a lion: it shreds competition, gives off a mighty roar, and never has a bad hair day. Reign as king of the job-market jungle with today's Groupon: for $85, you get a professional resumé- and cover-letter-writing service from JMC Resumes, Ltd. (a $260 value).
Experienced in staffing and recruiting, JMC Resumes' band of merry wordsmiths crafts new resumés from scratch, tunes up existing resumés, and drafts cover letters infused with interview-attracting pheromones. Without the use of templates, these professional resumé writers compose custom CVs for a variety of workforce ranks—from tenderfoot to VP—and federal specialists focus on resumés for government agencies.
The life cycle of this decisive document begins with an online submission form, after which a smooth-talking writer makes contact via telephone or written questionnaire to glean knowledge of the job seeker's unique skills, goals, and views on the cuddly nature of meerkats. Within the next 48–72 hours, the compellingly written and keyword-optimized completed resumé will be emailed. Two rounds of revisions may be made during the next seven days to ensure the document meets expectations. With a 99.4% client-satisfaction rate, founder J. Melissa Cooper oversees every final draft before it enters clients' inboxes. Review seminal samples in fields such as engineering, human resources, teaching, and competitive hopscotch.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Ferrari Ownership
Once you ascend to the exciting and dignified world of Ferrari ownership, you’ll notice that food tastes better, the air smells sweeter, and dunks are 73% raunchier. Here are some tips that will prolong the life of your Sweet Kitten (an official slang term for Ferraris):
Give the Brake a Break: This Hot Baby (official Ferrari slang [OFS]) was made to fly, not obey traffic rules. Remember, most police officers/angry parents really only want their picture taken next to your Ferrari.
Clean the Sheen on Your Mean Machine: Don’t take this Thunder Nugget (OFS) to any two-bit car-washing place. A ride this primo should be wiped down with the fontanel of a newborn horse, or, at least, an underwear model’s birth certificate.
Full Moon = Full Vroom: If the moon is in its full phase, then pull your Phantom Tickler (OFS) out of the drive-in humidor and let her howl at the moon by revving that imported engine. Let the neighbors know who’s boss while simultaneously expelling the (now on fire) owls who like to nest in the Ferrari's gorgeous chassis.
Endorse the Horse: Ferrari makes clothes and sunglasses with its signature horse logo that you can wear to let people know that you drive one of their Velvet Grandpas (OFS).
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