To get in shape while avoiding the labor of physical exercise, most people hire pythons to squeeze their flesh into sexy forms. Change your figure without risk of asphyxiation with today’s Groupon: for $40, you get two weeks of boot-camp classes (a $160 value) at Start Fitness on Blair Boulevard.
Launched by six-time Soldier of the Year and master fitness trainer Ken Weichert, Start Fitness offers boot-camp classes inspired by military training techniques to slam participants into the wall of physical fitness and keep them plastered there like butterflies in a truck's grill. Classes meet from 5:30 a.m. to 6:30 a.m. Monday through Thursday, and workout itineraries vary somewhat from day to day. As upbeat tunes pump through the large exercise room, Ken squeezes groups of recruits through various cadence calls, calisthenics, kickboxing drills, and more, The routines combine cardio and strength training to help participants burn up to 800 calories an hour, leaving only a pile of caloric ashes on the floor. Other classes feature outdoor distance runs, interval sprints, and flag raisings after taking over children’s tree forts.
Unlike bench-pressing a couch with bikini models on it, Start Fitness is an inspiring way to grind off unnecessary body parts while making new friends and running down chipmunks. Call ahead to reserve your classes and venture forth on your quest toward shape-shifting.
Boot-camp attendees should wear clothes they can move in, and bring a towel and water to every session. Please read the FAQ for more information.
Reviews
Start Fitness' Sergeant Ken has been featured extensively in the local and national press including features in the Colorado Journal-Advocate, the United States Department of Defense, San Francisco Business Times, and the San Francisco Chronicle, among others. Ken and his wife, Stephanie, who helps run Start Fitness, were named the Highest-Powered Kick-Ass Couple in San Francisco by 7x7 magazine.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Rocket Science vs. Brain Surgery
For centuries, the debate has raged on: which is the more difficult discipline—rocket science or brain surgery? Here's a quick comparison of the two:
Useful For
Rocket Science: Sending spaceships to blow up that baby from the end of 2001
Brain Surgery: Checking astronaut brains for space-spider eggs
WINNER: Brain surgery. Finding even one space-spider egg in the brain of an astronaut could finally prove NASA's conjecture that there is such a thing as space-spiders.
Education Needed
Rocket Science: Four years of college or one really killer audition
Brain Surgery: Nine years of medical school or other access to brains
WINNER: Rocket science. If it were easy to send a man to space, we'd all be living on the sun right now. Any old fool can poke around a brain until something interesting happens.
Perks
Rocket Science: Chance to stow away aboard a manned flight to the Big Dipper
Brain Surgery: Touching the brain of another person gives you their memories
WINNER: You. The collective work of these two disciplines has made it possible to send enough brains into space to colonize Jupiter. Donate your cerebellum by thinking about doing so.
Comment on our feelings board
