The hamburger, America’s national meal, has always been served during Independence Day cookouts and the competitive-eating portion of presidential debates. Salute an American mainstay with today's Groupon: for $6, you get $12 worth of grass-fed-beef burgers, fries, and hand-dipped shakes at Your Burger in Murfreesboro.
The patty sculptors at Your Burger hand-form sustainably raised beef, smoky salmon, and vegan-friendly veggies into juicy patties crowned with a farmers' market’s worth of local produce. Between fluffy bun borders, crisp onions, cool lettuce, and plump tomatoes hide and enhance the original quarter-pound Angus burger's grass-fed beef ($4.99), just as footie pajamas both hide and enhance the existence of a person's flippers. Alternative proteins include grilled Alaskan salmon ($5.89) and a healthful medley of veggies, rice, and oats ($5.99), and sides of sweet-potato fries and onion rings round out casual American meals. Creamy hand-dipped shakes come in flavors such as peanut butter, chocolate, and mint, providing a more pleasantly frosty epilogue than a cryogenically frozen narrator.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Superfoods
Deemed “superfoods” by organic grocers and by bank robbers whose escapes are foiled by slipping on their rinds, certain foods have nutritional attributes that recharge the human body in strange and amazing ways:
Pomegranates: Best known from the ancient Greek myth of Persephone, wherein the fabled Cyprian princess had to eat 30 pomegranates in under a minute to banish Rumpelstiltskin back to Hades, the antioxidant properties of pomegranates are used to turn harmful toxins into harmless chronic snoring.
Açaí Berry: First constructed in genetic laboratories in 2002, these superfruits are the most common phrase to appear in online banner ads, narrowly edging out “You won’t believe” and “She wore what?!” Eating a handful of açaí berries will give you one hour of laser vision, often directed outward.
Broccoli: Nutritiously toxic? This iron-rich death blossom warns human children not to eat it by giving them one poison-free bite as a warning. Children then instinctively know to refuse further consumption and are rewarded for their evolutionary savvy with a life-size chocolate catcher’s mitt.
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