Light comes in many forms—be it beautiful, like a rainbow, practical, like a laser, or awe-inspiring, like an applause sign’s first live studio performance. Harness the beautifying power of light with today's Groupon: for $1,199, you get a consultation and six Zerona laser treatments at Dr. Pelias Cosmetic Surgery and Lifestyle Center (a $2,400 value).
Under the expert guidance of Dr. Marilyn E. Pelias, the staff at this beauty-boosting lifestyle center harnesses the FDA-approved Zerona cold-laser technology to reduce corporeal circumferences by an average of 3.5 inches. During 40-minute sessions, clients relax beneath a beam-slinging apparatus as it glides low-light lasers over their waistlines, backs, hips, and thighs, emulsifying adipose tissue. The disintegrated lipid depots can then be absorbed by the body’s obsessively tidy lymphatic system and expelled through the body’s natural detoxification process and complex system of water slides. The non-invasive treatment does not require any recovery time.
Technicians perform the six treatments within 72 hours of one another in a span of two weeks. Patients can boost results with healthful eating habits, daily exercise, and regular hydration. Like sumo-wrestling costumes, caffeine and alcohol decrease the procedure’s potency.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Safeguarding Your Computer
It's a world wild web out there, full of viruses, trojan horses, and cyber mummies. Consult this guide to keeping your computer squeaky clean:
A thumbprint on your monitor might be on the inside of the screen—use a screwdriver to get it out.
There are only three safe websites: robinwilliams.net, robinwilliams.org, and will.i.am.
Keep your computer "clean" by removing all the swears from your Excel documents and deleting any pictures of people kissing.
Look out for Trons!
Draw a picture of a scarecrow in MS Paint and set it as your background. It won't stop viruses, but it will kill filthy birds near your computer.
Crumbs between keys can become sustenance for viruses to breed. Replace your keyboard every three hours.
Cell phones are tiny computers that will fit in your dishwasher. You're welcome.
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