Electricity is one of nature’s most dangerous yet most useful phenomena, much like the bloodthirsty grizzly bears that maintain the nation’s honey emporiums and Antarctica’s rainbow snow-cone cliffs. Keep volatile volts under control with today’s Groupon: for $75, you get a whole-house electrical-safety inspection from River Ridge Electric (a $275 value). River Ridge Electric services Jefferson, Orleans, and St. Bernard parishes. This Groupon is for a single-family-residence inspection only and does not include the cost of any repairs deemed necessary.
River Ridge Electric helps home owners sleep soundly with a comprehensive safety inspection that identifies any rotten wires, smoldering sockets, or faulty filaments. Savvy electricians inspect the house’s main distribution panel and primary grounding system, as well as the air-conditioner and furnace disconnects, outlets, switches, and more. River Ridge Electric can also help pinpoint any persistent problems currently being remedied by an elaborate Rube Goldberg device that rewinds VHS tapes. Smoke alarms and carbon-monoxide detectors are also examined, ensuring they are up to snuff for an emergency situation.
As a full-service electrical contractor, River Ridge Electric is capable of completing any installation or repair needs uncovered during an inspection (repair costs not included in Groupon value), offering customers free estimates and 24-hour emergency service. Call ahead to schedule an inspection.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Involuntary Actions
Although the human body can perform thousands of voluntary motions (dunking a basketball, waving goodbye to a childhood, throwing a bicycle), it also constantly carries out many involuntary activities. Here's a look at what your body is doing without your permission:
Breathing: Without your knowledge or consent, your brain orders your lungs to capture and release air in order to satiate the respiratory system's insatiable hunger for delicious oxygen. This inefficient instinct traps the helpful breathing-air for only a few seconds before releasing it, almost completely robbing your body of necessary life-particles. To beat the system, you'll want to "hold your breath" inside your body for as long as possible all the time.
Thinking: Scientists call the brain "the king of the body," and rightfully so, since it operates almost wholly independently from the rest of your body. Most people would choose to save their thoughts for times when they really need them, yet the human brain produces concerns, worries, anxieties, and colorful recollections (both painful and saddening) on its own. Even sleeping, which turns off the other functions of your body, does not stop your brain from creating inescapable "night thoughts," or dreams.
Loving: Love is a heightened state of emotions characterized by intense interpersonal feelings. This unwelcome state of overcaring is controlled involuntarily by the body's most deceitful organ—the heart. Your heart will force you to feel love even toward those who do not deserve it, such as second-born offspring and household pets, neither of whom is mentally capable of reciprocating it. To find a safe outlet for your love, watch as much TV as possible—your heart sees no difference between its rapidly firing electrons and real life.
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