Keeping teeth clean and white is the first and only step in coping with the fact that your skeleton is slowly escaping from your body through your mouth. Deal with it with today's Groupon to Solar Whitening New Orleans, valid in Metairie and New Orleans. Choose from the following options:
- For $19, you get a teeth-whitening pen (a $40 value).
- For $29, you get $70 worth of teeth-whitening services and products.
Solar Whitening New Orleans boosts smile illumination with whitening procedures that are performed on the spot and products that can be taken home for future use. The whitening pen's paintbrush tip glides smoothly over molars to boost pearly-white whiteness and blast away discoloration caused by excessive coffee, cigarette, or crayon consumption. Boil and bite into the take-home trays of the custom whitening kit ($70) to form cozy teeth cradles, which can then be filled with enough gel to last 8–10 whitening treatments over the course of four to six months. After adopting the White Light kit ($55), patients can first apply a specially formulated gel to mouth bones, then activate it with a mini whitening light that cleanses dental stains, brightens teeth, and assassinates vampires who try to kiss them. Customers can boost the efficacy of their whitening procedures by following them up with a dose of remineralizing gel ($40 for 3 mL), which strengthens freshly bleached enamel. Alternatively, customers can also apply their Groupon's value towards a 30-minute teeth whitening ($159), or take $70 off of a year-long membership card ($399) which includes once a month teeth whitening at either location and periodic specials just for members.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Speed-Reading
If you're reading this sentence, chances are good that you're literate, but if you're still reading it, you're one of the disproportionate number of Americans who are not speed-literate. Crank your reading rate to superhuman levels with these tips:
- If you encounter a thick chunk of text, skip every other word. If a character is giving a long speech, skip the whole thing and make up your own.
- Train your eyes to move more quickly by watching recorded tennis matches on fast-forward.
- Learn Braille so your hands can read one book while your eyes read another.
- If you're reading a mystery, just read the last chapter where it's revealed who did it to save yourself from the anxiety of the investigation parts.
- Count a book as "read" if you thought about looking it up on Wikipedia.
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