Dressing comfortably came back into vogue after the Industrial Revolution, during which most individuals donned steam-powered jackets or pants stitched together with railroad ties. Embrace the tangible ease of progress with today's Groupon: for $20, you get $40 worth of satin accessories and more from Sharmooz, redeemable online.
Specializing in 100% charmeuse products, Sharmooz outfits silk enthusiasts and luxury lovers in a variety of garb and gear infused with comfort and style. Embellish noggins with a designer satin scarf wrap ($24.95+) that halts frizz and shedding, or quiet tykes' obsessive thread counting with the satin baby crib sheets ($36.95). The ballerina shoe scarf ($26.95) adds pizzazz to footwear, and the satin sleep mask ($15.95) blocks out harsh rays from the sun or wayward laser beams. Maintain hair smoothery during its sleep cycle with the satin pillowcase ($32.95+), available in a bevy of color incarnations, or dazzle dinner dates and table settings in the B.A.S.I.C. strapless dress ($88.95) from the company's runway collection.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Knighting Yourself
Nowadays, you don't have to slay a dragon or release a hit music album to get knighted. In fact, the Magna Carta specifically grants all land-owning citizens the power to knight whomever they see fit, and since this document is still the basis for all of today's laws, here's what you'll need to knight yourself:
A Worthwhile Quest: Every knight worth his chain mail earns his title and the official, knights-only Maytag dishwasher by bravely completing a legendary quest. Suitable quests include rescuing a princess, raising the national IQ through tireless one-on-one tutoring, or warning children about the dangers of defenestration through a series of comical radio advertisements.
A Gallant Broadsword: Once you've completed your quest, you'll want a high-quality sharp weapon with which to knight yourself. Try looking in abandoned rock quarries or school lost-and-found closets. If you can't find a heroic-looking blade, visit your local Nerf mine to gain access to enough of the soft foam-like mineral to make a sword.
Goodness in Your Heart: True knights must be pure at heart, so it's important to purge yourself of any unkind feelings or fears that have lodged themselves in your ventricles. Lock yourself in a closet and perform scream therapy for at least two months (no breaks) to excise your demons. Then, deliver a shot of goodness directly into your aorta by eating some children’s letters to Santa.
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