Light comes in many forms—be it beautiful, like a rainbow, practical, like a laser, or awe-inspiring, like an applause sign’s first live studio performance. Harness the beautifying power of light with this Groupon to Sensitive Touch Medical Spa. Choose between the following options:
- For $799, you get six Zerona laser treatments (a $2,000 value).
- For $1,199, you get six Zerona laser treatments (a $2,000 value) and two SmoothShapes treatments (an $800 value; a $2,800 total value).
The staff at Sensitive Touch Medical Spa employ laser energy to help shrink corporeal circumferences by an average of 3.5 inches during Zerona sessions and help pummel cellulite during SmoothShapes treatments. Zerona clients relax beneath a beam-slinging apparatus for 40 minutes as it glides low-light lasers over their waistline, back, hips, and thighs, emulsifying adipose tissue so fat can sneak its way out of the body. The disintegrated lipid depots can then be absorbed by the body’s obsessively tidy lymphatic system and expelled through the body’s natural detoxification process and complex system of water slides. The FDA-approved, noninvasive treatment requires minimal recovery time.
Each 20-minute SmoothShapes treatment pairs lasers with massage techniques to reduce cellulite, which typically forms when fat cells near the skin's surface outgrow their collagen casings. Sensitive Touch Medical Spa's technicians perform the treatment sessions over the span of two weeks. Patients can boost results with healthy eating habits, daily exercise, and regular hydration. Like sumo-wrestling costumes, caffeine and alcohol decrease the procedure’s potency.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Ferrari Ownership
Once you ascend to the exciting and dignified world of Ferrari ownership, you’ll notice that food tastes better, the air smells sweeter, and dunks are 73% raunchier. Here are some tips that will prolong the life of your Sweet Kitten (an official slang term for Ferraris):
Give the Brake a Break: This Hot Baby (official Ferrari slang [OFS]) was made to fly, not obey traffic rules. Remember, most police officers/angry parents really only want their picture taken next to your Ferrari.
Clean the Sheen on Your Mean Machine: Don’t take this Thunder Nugget (OFS) to any two-bit car-washing place. A ride this primo should be wiped down with the fontanel of a newborn horse, or, at least, an underwear model’s birth certificate.
Full Moon = Full Vroom: If the moon is in its full phase, then pull your Phantom Tickler (OFS) out of the drive-in humidor and let her howl at the moon by revving that imported engine. Let the neighbors know who’s boss while simultaneously expelling the (now on fire) owls who like to nest in the Ferrari's gorgeous chassis.
Endorse the Horse: Ferrari makes clothes and sunglasses with its signature horse logo that you can wear to let people know that you drive one of their Velvet Grandpas (OFS).
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