The deal is on!
Ever since it was discovered on the moon’s surface, organic food has supplanted "things wrapped in fried dough" as the preferred food of healthy eaters and discriminating garbage-scavenging animals. See what all the fuss is about with today’s Groupon. For $35, non-members get $75 worth of local, organic food from Nature's Prime Organic Foods delivered straight to their doorstep, stoop, or balloon-hoisted sky fortress. Shipping under $100 has a flat rate of $14.99, while anything more than $100 is free.
Nature's Prime obtains its organic foods from a variety of local farmers who use renewable resources and conserve soil and water without resorting to antibiotics, growth hormones, pesticides, bioengineering, or gene splicing with giant carnivorous plants. Its bacon comes from Wisconsin; its fish are line caught; and its fresh fruit is delivered via giant suction tube directly from the Brazilian jungle. NPO Foods is also affiliated with the Minnesota Timberwolves, so it's one of the rare organic-food purveyors that also supports its locally grown slam dunks, free throws, and rebounds, which are always best fresh off the backboard.
Tasty items like Nature's Prime's fair-trade French-roast coffee ($15.85), Alaskan halibut ($16.25), and organic New York strip steak ($17.50) provide a higher-octane fuel for your food-injected stomach-engine. Beyond the high-quality meats, vegetarians can enjoy an organic produce package ($72) of fresh apples, oranges, broccoli, carrots, celery, and assorted greens. Cut out grocery-store middlemen and squeaky-wheeled shopping carts with today's Groupon to Nature's Prime Organic Foods.
This Groupon is not a membership, so all items bought with this deal are sold at non-member prices. Not valid for gift certificates.
Reviews
More than 1,800 Facebook users are fans of Nature's Prime Organic Foods.
Groupon Says
Grocery-Store Tricks
Nature's Prime Organic Foods lets you avoid the grocery store, causing some stores to feel the pinch of the increased competition. Here are a few new marketing strategies these stores have resorted to:
- Expensive cereals placed on shelves at eye level while a man screams at you to purchase them
- Meat-counter scales rebalanced to reflect "moon weight"
- 2-for-1 coupons replaced with "IOU One Back Rub" coupons
- Most peanut-brittle cans actually filled with coiled faux-snakes
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