Like a potato, if the human body is not properly mashed and moisturized, it will never be used for anything more than a science-project battery. Make sure your body is properly fluffed and buttered with today's soothing Groupon: for $29, you get a one-hour Swedish or deep-tissue massage (a $65 value) at Brooks Wellness Center, located south of Oklahoma City Golf & Country Club.
The hospitable, hands-on healers at Brooks Wellness Center have nullified bodily aches and tensions for years, providing a range of relaxing massage treatments. The Swedish massage, one of the most popular massage techniques to not incorporate massage gloves made out of cotton candy, uses light-to-medium pressure and flowing movements to veto gauche stress proposals. Alternatively, the intensive deep-tissue massage uses a series of higher-pressure knead styles to ghostbust loitering phantasms that haunt the nooks and crannies of your vessel. Whatever process you choose, the licensed de-knotters will leave the muscles feeling rejuvenated, sending ripples of unrestrained relaxation to the brain and nearby marmots. Call ahead to schedule an appointment.
Groupon Says
Deep, Deep Tissue
The deep-tissue massage at Brooks Wellness Center goes deep, and we mean deep. "Childhood revelations of walking in on your father wearing half a Santa Claus costume in the shower" deep. "Glow-in-the-dark fish who trap their prey by pretending to be neon signs for happening after-hours fish bars with hot, live aqua jazz" deep. "Chicago-style pizza being lowered on an elaborate system of pulleys to a Belushi stuck in a poorly marked well" deep. We're talking deep.
But what are the benefits of a deep-tissue massage over, say, a superficial skin prodding? For one, deep-tissue massages can reveal long-lost items you may have rolled over on in your sleep, such as car keys or that chinchilla that "ran away." Best of all, a deep-tissue massage is a great way to relieve the daily stress of your job as a daredevil blindfolded firefighter, identifying fires only by the smell of smoke and the warmth of their flames against your face. Make your reservation today and make sure to bring your DVD of Deep Impact as well as any LP by Deep Purple—you'll be pleased to find they sync up perfectly.
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