There are two kinds of escapes—those involving parachute leaps from exploding enemy zeppelins, and the other kind. Today’s Groupon falls into the latter category: for $67, you get a one-night stay in a patio casita with a king-sized bed at Gold Canyon Golf Resort (a $135 value). The resort is located near the northern edges of the Tucson metropolitan area, about 45 minutes from Downtown Phoenix and 17 hours from Laramie, Wyoming.
The white pueblo-inspired lodgings of Gold Canyon Golf Resort sit at the base of the Superstition Mountains like spilled salt thrown over the shoulders of 13 black cats lounging under a sky of broken mirrors. The resort’s spacious patio casitas, from the Spanish word meaning “hotel rooms with an honor bar, refrigerator, and private patio,” offer privacy for maximum soaking-up-of-sun. Guests desiring pruny fingers can upgrade for an additional $50 to a spa casita, which has a hot tub.
Several of the deluxe casitas look out on the resort’s 18-hole Sidewinder or the Dinosaur Mountain Golf Course—a sprawling series of doglegging fairways and greens populated by invisible brontosaurs. Dinosaur Mountain was recently named one of America’s most underrated courses by Golf.com, thanks in part to its scenic Sonoran Desert backdrop that makes most golfers feeling like they’re playing (and occasionally swearing) their way through a postcard.
For those who prefer to laugh at shank-inspired temper tantrums rather than partake of them, Gold Canyon Golf Resort offers numerous other amenities as well, including a fitness center, a day spa, and several restaurants. Even if you feel like doing absolutely nothing, the breathtaking vistas of the cactus-dotted American Southwest will keep you staring at canyon walls rather than stucco walls.
Reviews
Golf.com listed Gold Canyon Golf Resort in its America's Most Underrated Courses feature:
- Leave behind the trophy course hunters gathered in north Scottsdale and strike out an hour to the southeast past Mesa and you'll be rewarded with this scenic Ken Kavanaugh design that darts around the Superstition Mountains. Soaring elevation changes—highlighted by vertigo-inducing drop shots on the par-3s—make the Dinosaur Mountain track as memorable as anything in town. – Golf.com
Customer reviews are mixed, but TripAdvisors give Gold Canyon Golf Resort 3.5 owl eyes, and one Judy's Book user gives four stars:
- Spacious rooms and many amenities are key to resorts getting recurring guests. The Gold Canyon Golf Resort is on [sic] such place that has three separate type rooms, two of which come with out door hot tubs...The fact it has a golf course right there is a bit of a perk but then again it is a golf resort. – James W., Judy's Book
- Wow we had the best time ever. My husband and I were looking to get away but knew we didnt [sic] have a lot of time so we chose Gold Canyon for its proximity…We went to dinner that night in the Bar & Grill which I'm told is the same menu as the closed Kokopelli's restaurant...The spa services the next morning exceptional. – azkrzymom2, TripAdvisor
Groupon Says
Debunking Superstitions
The Gold Canyon Golf Resort is located at the base of the Superstition Mountains, a range that was named by a group of stranded pilots who suffered severe hallucinations that led to them inventing all of the known superstitions. Here are a few common legends they came up with and the truth behind each one:
It's bad luck to kill a ladybug.
Truth: It's only bad luck to kill a ladybug if you're unprepared to defend yourself against the hordes of bloodthirsty ladybugs seeking revenge.
Step on a crack and break your mother's back.
Truth: Stepping on a crack does nothing to your mother, but will render your father sterile and no longer able to swallow 20-pound turkeys whole.
Pulling out one gray hair makes 10 more gray hairs grow in its place.
Truth: Getting rid of one gray hair makes you more handsome, which frequently results in serving as the spokesperson for a mediocre brand of digestion-regulating cheese crackers.
An acorn in the window will keep the lightning out.
Truth: Households that leave acorns on the window increase their odds of being struck by lighting by 157% and their odds of luring in rabid animals that won't leave unless they're fed newspapers covered in marinara sauce by 2,456%.
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