If snooze buttons were made of sausage links, it would be impossible to sleep through waking up. Today's Groupon squeezes reveilles out of the morning rooster with $15 worth of morning grub for $7 at the The Breakfast Joynt in Scottsdale. Air the Nyquil fumes out of your sheets and embrace the new day.
Gone are the days of breakfast nooks, alcoves, cubbyholes, and dens, because fashion-forward breakfasters only eat in joynts. The Breakfast Joynt dishes out freshly made sausage gravy, off-the-bone hams, off-the-pan cakes, and an extraordinarily pleasant staff dedicated to making your morning worth the recommended six- to eight-hour wait. Doors open at 6:30 a.m. each dawn and close at 2:30 p.m., while serving up the aromas and tastes of scrumptious sustenance in between. The light and tender textures of apple crepes ($5.95) join the chorus of Aunt Em's homestyle biscuits and gravy ($6.95) and the simple joys of steel-cut oatmeal with raisins and brown sugar ($3.95). Order an endless pot of coffee ($2.25) to keep you company as you return emails with complimentary WiFi. Boost your vitamin C level with a complimentary glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice when you use your Groupon Monday through Friday. If lunch is more your hour du jour, The Breakfast Joynt offers a pound and a quarter of fried pork-loin sandwich ($8.95), served on a bun likened to the size of a trash can lid.
A hearty breakfast brings to life all the rich colors and pleasant birdsongs of morning time, stirring ante meridiem amour in the hearts of devoted night-lovers. You'll positively blush with happiness when you discover that morning peeks its furry head up every single day of the week and always smells like maple syrup.
Reviews
Metromix recommends The Breakfast Joynt, saying:
- This is serious start-your-day stuff, like chocolate-chip crepes, Swedish pancakes with ligonberries, Granny Smith apple-stuffed pancakes with vanilla-bean ice cream, home-style biscuits and gravy with country-fried steak and eggs, or corned-beef hash and eggs. Sure, owners David Phelps and Becky Mazzocco offer some health-conscious eats like six egg whites (yes, six) and whole-wheat toast, but why bother, when you can get a build your own three-egg omelet laden with ham off the bone and asparagus? – Carey Sweet, Metromix
Yelpers give The Breakfast Joynt four stars, and 75% of Urbanspooners like it:
- One of the best omelettes I have had with comfortable surroundings and relaxed & friendly service. Comfortable seats too… – rhay, Urbanspoon
Groupon Says
Part of a Complete Breakfast
The Breakfast Joynt can help you get a satisfying complete breakfast, unlike the many store-bought cereals that can only legally advertise themselves as part of a complete breakfast. In fact, most of these sugary stomach bombs are so nutritionally damaging that the complete breakfast needed to justify their presence is much bigger than you might realize. It includes:
- 15 egg whites, beaten and poached into single gelatinous disc
- Three pancakes, two griddlecakes, four hotcakes, and a flapjack
- Model of Parthenon comprised of french toast sticks
- Tall glass of sausage juice
- Six deep-fried yogurt balls
- That weird fruit your fiancé brought home that is too big to be an orange, too small to be a grapefruit, and screams when you cut it
- Entire case of Coke BlāK
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