Before golf was invented, grassy pastures were viewed as the exclusive territory of roaming sheep, herds of cattle, and overzealous Civil War re-enactors. Celebrate turf's competitive utility with today's Groupon: for $40, you get 18 holes of golf for two, plus cart rental, at Cherry Creek Golf Club in Greensburg (up to an $82 value).
Cherry Creek Golf Club's emerald terrain is ensconced by an all-natural environ of idyllic rolling hills and contoured fairways that earned it the elusive honor of being a Certified Audubon Cooperative Sanctuary. Swingers of all stripes can indulge in the recently renovated course’s four sets of tee boxes and USGA-specified bentgrass greens, all the while using their tiny pencils to sketch the surrounding forests and stealthy ball-nabbing gnomes. Between holes, guests can practice skipping balls across the course’s numerous ponds, streams, and bunkers before piling into one of Cherry Creek’s charming motorized buggies for a leisurely jaunt along the verdant bent fairways.
Although not included in today’s Groupon, players can feast on post-game grub at the Pub and Grille at Cherry Creek Golf Club. The athletic eatery boasts an outdoor patio, as well as a covered pavilion adorned with a full bar and plasma televisions tuned to the latest jousting competitions. A well-stocked pro shop arms club connoisseurs with swingers from King Cobra and Titleist, savvy golf shirts, and fairway-scouring shoes.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Detecting Fishiness
When detectives say that something "smells fishy," they aren't referring to the effects of trimethylaminuria, a rare metabolic disorder that causes a person to give off a fish-like odor. Instead, they're noting that their suspicion has been aroused by dubious behavior. Complete this short test to see if you've got a policeman’s sixth sense for suspicion:
1. Three bodies, including a husband and wife, lie dead in a messy bedroom. Was it:
A. A crime of passion?
B. A blackmail gone deadly?
C. Or, did the coroner's report fail to mention one important detail? All the bodies were bears! And the bedroom was a forest! It was a simple case of nature's unforgiving cruelty all along.
2. The last person to see out-of-town stranger Lydia alive was the shady mechanic with a history of shouting at town meetings. Did he:
A. Kidnap her and hide the body?
B. Knock her unconscious and sell her liver?
C. Or, did he deliver her to unscrupulous ornithologists? Because Lydia was a rare tropical bird the entire time! Curse you, nature, for your cruel beauty drives normal men insane!
3. The local locksmith's tax returns don't add up. Was it:
A. A simple case of tax fraud?
B. Extortion?
C. Or, were the "tax returns" actually a roving den of cobras, sneaking into an office building's air-conditioning vents waiting to drop on unsuspecting travel agents simply because their cruel instincts left them no other choice? Why, nature, why? Why must you test the bounds of morality in so deadly a fashion? Curse you!
Your Score:
- If you answered A, then you are entirely wrong. You don't know anything about crime.
- If you answered B, then have you even heard of crime? If you haven't, it's like when you follow the law, but backward.
- If you answered C, then congratulations. You are now a deputized police officer in all 50 states.
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