Much like magicians, hair never plans for their disappearing acts to be permanent. Save hirsute Houdinis with today's Groupon: for $1,499, you get three months of laser hair restoration and supplementary products at the Hair Restoration Institute of Pennsylvania (a $3,124.95 value).
The Hair Restoration Institute helps men and women conquer hair loss, baldness, and thinning with nonsurgical treatments and technology. Over three months, expert mane reclaimers perform two 20-minute sessions each week using the institute's MEP-90 cool laser (a $2,799 value). The first FDA-approved treatment for women's hair regrowth, the MEP-90 clinical trials resulted in 92% of patients sporting an increased strand census after 20 treatments. Clients receive a supplementary package including a scalp-therapy kit, shampoo, and multivitamins designed to block the effects of DHT, a contributing factor to baldness and careers as a Bruce Willis impersonator (a $325.95 value).
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Winning a Nobel Prize
The fastest way to land a job these days is to add Nobel Prize winner to your resume. To apply for a Nobel, simply text PRIZE to 631228 after reading some inside info that will help you take home a Nobel:
- The Nobels are no longer awarded only in boring categories such as Science and Learning. Try applying for a Nobel Prize in a subject such as Loneliest Repairman or Most Cigarettes in Mouth at Once.
- The actual Nobel Prize itself is a scale model of a Corvette, so you'll want to build a garage for it before you win.
- The final test for prospective Nobel winners is exactly like the ending of the original Willy Wonka movie, including the flying elevator and the scores of missing children.
- Nobel winners get to meet the king of Sweden, so remember to avoid eye contact with him and lick his paws after he blesses you.
- You can't win if you don't try. But you can also not win even if you do try, which would be embarrassing. Best not to try.
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