Like the ancient knights one must fight every time a wormhole opens in the microwave oven, laser body treatments shave off excess flesh and remind us we are living in the future. Make fat a thing of the past with today’s Groupon: for $1,199, you get six Zerona body-sculpting treatments at Laser Body Sculpting of Pittsburgh in Greensburg (a $2,650 value).
Under the direction of Dr. William Cole, Laser Body Sculpting of Pittsburgh's skilled staff shapes and firms bodily contours with gentle nonsurgical procedures. During six sessions administered over a two-week period, the FDA-approved low-level Zerona laser helps safely stimulate, emulsify, educate, and release imprisoned fat cells. An initial consultation with Dr. Cole will determine which areas to target for the most effective results, with frequently treated areas including thighs, hips, and love handles. In each 40-minute treatment, patients may experience levels of pain commonly associated with a butterfly’s kiss or a slap from a cool ocean breeze.
Unlike liposuction, Zerona allows patients to continue their daily activities without lengthy recovery periods. To complement the treatments, Laser Body Sculpting of Pittsburgh also offers a wellness program that includes strategies for coping with phantom bellies. Please contact the clinic for information about disqualifying health conditions.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Smart Home Décor
When decorating a house or apartment, the most important goal is for your décor to communicate to guests that you are a highly intelligent sophisticate. Here's how to make your home show just how smart you are:
• Fill your bookshelves with the original Latin versions of classics, perhaps Huckleberry Finn and the U.S. Constitution.
• Conspicuously display a chess set, but tell guests that you cannot play them because you are embroiled in a correspondence match with a European supercomputer.
• Frame a rejection letter from the MacArthur Foundation explaining that you are ineligible for one of their "genius grants" because you are "way too smart and handsome, also."
• Use coasters. Nothing says smarts like coasters.
• Invest in a timeless painting by Picasso or Cézanne, but update it for modern audiences by cutting a hole in it.
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