A good haircut can dramatically transform your look, similar to tying low-hanging ears into the shape of a basketball hoop or something that resembles Alan Alda's head. Freshen up your look with today's Groupon, which gets you hair services at Maxon Towers Hair Salon. Choose between the following options:
- For $20, you get two basic men's haircuts (a $50 value).
- For $30, you get $80 worth of services.
For more than 35 years, Maxon Towers has offered quality salon and spa services from an expert staff. The salon boasts 11 stylists and two nail technicians, ensuring that scheduling an appointment is simpler than snatching freshly baked pies from a weak-armed child delivering freshly baked pies. With two basic haircuts, male clients earn two months worth of fresh, polished tresses, giving them the means to land jobs, score dates, and wear tight-fitting hats. Clients that opt for $80 worth of services can choose from a bevy of options, including waxing ($15–$60+), facials ($42–$85), and manicures ($16–$24) that make fingernails shine brighter than a burning mirror. Women's haircuts run from $30 to $75 depending on length, texture, and condition of hair. Keratin express treatments ($65 to $95) revitalize strands ravaged by sun, chlorine, and coloring, shimmying each shaft into a hydrating jellysuit. Arrive early and while you wait, take advantage of free WiFi to surf the net on your laptop, iPad, or cardboard iPad cutout.
Groupon Says
Hair: Humans’ Natural Mask
Similar to breaking through the earth’s atmosphere with a spaceship, getting a haircut is scientifically possible but clearly in violation of what nature intended. Hair grows downward toward the face, and its natural purpose is to cover the face for reasons both temperate and aesthetic. A hair-covered face is warmer and more appealing to look at than a normal face, which is often overrun with natural protrusions, such as noses and ears, unpleasant natural openings, and freakish soul mirrors.
Though faces are necessary to collect and process most sense data, conversation, and physical attraction, these things are impossible to do with a face in its uncovered state. That's why evolution has gifted us with a natural means to cover our unappealing faces. If, however, your hair has grown past face-covering length or has unnaturally begun growing upward, then, by all means, visit a hair doctor and mend your face cover at once.
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