Before the discovery of spices, chefs used physical gestures to describe meals’ intended tastes, thus inventing yoga and the mimed head explosion. Partake of palate-detonating flavors with today’s Groupon: for $15, you get $30 worth of spices from the Milford Spice Company.
The Milford Spice Company grinds exotic, all-natural ingredients into flavorful toppings, offering hundreds of culinary character traits to bestow meals with vivacious personality. Enervated eats rejoice at the touch of the Ravensview rib-rub grinder, a poignant potpourri of black pepper, sea salt, rosemary, garlic, and onion ($7.99). Deft dishers and dabblers alike can pursue porcine piquancy with the Pontiac Trail pig powder, a barbecue rub with an even balance of sweetness and hotness, not unlike a flaming man on a tightrope made of licorice ($6.79).
A low flat-rate shipping fee (usually $2.50–$4) is incurred for orders under $50. Shipping is free for orders of $75 or more.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Meteorology
One of the most confusing of the "ologies," meteorology is actually the study of weather, just as weatherology is the study of meteorology. Here are a few ways you can predict the weather yourself, so you never have to watch the news or talk to anyone else ever again:
- Hold a dampened finger up in the wind. Depending on which side of your finger gets cold first, you may be inside of a tornado.
- If you don't like the weather in your city, wait five minutes. If your uncontrollable rage has not subsided after five minutes, move to a different city.
- If your grandfather's old knee injury starts acting up, it means a storm is coming—a metaphorical storm symbolizing the inescapable perils of old age.
- Remember, a sun wearing sunglasses means a heat wave is underway, just as raisins wearing sunglasses indicate an approaching "cool" front, and a sun wearing sunglasses holding two scoops of raisins means a 90% chance of a complete breakfast.
- You can tell how far away the center of a storm is by counting the seconds between lightning and thunder then multiplying that number by the amount of time you've wasted listening to the sky.
Comment on our feelings board
