Like street-strewn banana peels, home plate is only useful when it's stepped on. Keep score of steps with today's Groupon: for $8, you get two reserved-seat tickets to a Washington Wild Things baseball game (a $16 value) at Consol Energy Park. Choose between two games:
- Against Traverse City Beach Bums on Thursday, May 26 at 6:35 p.m.
- Against Southern Illinois Miners on Thursday, June 9 at 6:35 p.m.
The Washington Wild Things have their sights set on rewarding manager Darin Everson with a successful campaign while exciting fans with the hard-hitting action of Frontier League baseball. Cheer as veteran Chris Sidick and newly acquired pitcher Justin Hall lead the on-field platoon in hit and runs, eye-popping triple plays, and choreographed home-run celebrations. The May 26 contest encourages fans to cheer against the Traverse City Beach Bums, and elicit the colors of bumblebees in honor of Steelers Night. The June 9 game amuses fans with country night, which transforms the cozy confines of Consol Energy Park into a country-themed baseball bonanza to stymie the Southern Illinois Miners with a slew of twang-filled guitar riffs. Because both ballgames tee off on Thursday nights, attendees of each can imbibe on soft drinks and beers for only $1 apiece.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Poemtry
"Poetry is the science of the heart," said noted poem master Robert "2 Cold" Frost. He simply meant that poetry is the most science-like of all the arts, as it can be broken down into its base elements, categorized, and reverse engineered under laboratory conditions. Here's a guide to creating your own works of rhyming heart science:
Find Your Genre There are three basic genres of poetry:
- Inspirational: Uplifts the spirit with references to clouds and the birds that eat them.
- Terrorfying: Includes works such as "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Grier.
- Slam: Conveys a deep, personal message through the medium of shouting.
Put the Words Together Without exception, all poems share one basic trait: they must rhyme. Early poets rhymed every single word, but today's lazy poets rhyme only a few words at the end of every other sentence.
Once you've selected your base, or "rhyme words," add some metaphors. A metaphor is when one thing, usually something from nature such as a sunbeam or a skeleton, stands for something else—and this other thing is always freedom.
Publish or Perish Don't leave your poems rotting in a drawer (they will attract flies). Instead, send them to one of the hundreds of busy poetry publishers that are eager to pay handsomely for your couplets. Or, earn a living writing today's modern poetry—television police procedurals.
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