The human brain weighs only 4/5 pound, which is why the average 16-ounce steak is better at calculus. Eat protein for dinner during trimathalons with today’s Groupon: for $25, you get $60 worth of private or group mind training, classes, and services for adults or children at Braingystics in Hillsboro.
Drawing on innovations and research in cognitive science, the gray-matter specialists at Braingystics bolster clients’ mental performance with individualized neurotechnology programs for kids and adults. Training more than 60,000 kids aged 5–14 across the globe and one hyper-smart ape at the moon academy for gifted simians, Brainobrain develops the left and right hemispheres with abacus-based math exercises. The course builds confidence, memorization skills, focus, and positive thinking through creative thinking and imagination. Experienced staff members guide small groups of children through 10 levels of brainwork, focusing on each level for 12 weeks, with one meeting per week ($150 monthly tuition).
In brain-fitness sessions, clients of all ages hone mental powers through brain-boosting video games and traditional brain-fitness practices, working one-on-one with staff ($150 for 60 minutes) or in small group classes ($40 for 60 minutes). Clients upgrade their memories and retention during SmartBrain neurofeedback sessions ($125 for 60 minutes), which NASA developed to improve astronauts' attention and ease the stress of having to commute every day to the moon. The program has earned a mention from Science Daily.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Advertising Soup
In this economy, soup isn’t going to sell itself. Only the perfect commercial is going to get those cans flying off the shelves. But what are the elements of a good soup ad?
The setting can make someone immediately yearn for a bowl of the hot stuff. Good settings include:
• A wealthy person’s farmhouse glowing warmly in a snowy wooded area (farmhouse should show no signs of actual farming)
• A small but cozy shack standing on a craggy cliff over a violent sea
• A bread factory
The main character is the viewer’s connection to the soup. It should be:
• A loving yet endearingly inept dad. He is in decent shape, not too handsome, and wearing a sweater and/or tucked-in collared shirt.
• A Victorian sailor’s wife. She is pale and beautiful, yet jagged. It has been a hard life.
• A bunch of working-class bread-factory guys who are hungry but tired of all this dry bread.
The story of the ad then whips the potential customers into a soup-eating frenzy by depicting:
• The dad’s son playing in the snow. The dad wants his son to love him but he cannot prepare a meal on his own. He makes the son soup, and the two bond over a game of checkers in front of a fireplace. Mom does not interfere.
• The wife gazes longingly at the sea during a windy, daytime rainstorm. She misses her husband’s warm, hearty arms but finds solace in a thick chowder that possesses those same qualities. Just as she finishes her bowl the husband kicks down the door. He has returned from his voyage and he has brought her many exotic hats.
• The bread-factory guys make some soup and have a crazy party wherein they dip the dry crusty breads into the steaming bowls with much joviality and merrymaking. What a day they’ve had.
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