Although their thick wool coats would make them ideal car washers, sheep are rarely able to hold the position because of costly hoof scratches and a tendency to eat air fresheners. Enjoy bipedal auto-polishing with today's Groupon to Get M.A.D. Mobile Auto Detailing. Choose between the following options:
- For $89, you get a full detail for a car (a $179 value, including the company's $20 gas fee).
- For $99, you get a full detail for a van, truck, or SUV (up to a $209 value, including the company's $20 gas fee).
Crews trained in the lost art of hand washing and hand drying travel to homes and offices to return rides to their zenith of cleanliness. Following the scrub, a cloak of wax leaves the striking pavement prowler able to turn more heads in parking lots than a neighborhood strongman juggling shopping carts. Exteriors wiggle gleefully as teams shine rubbery soles with a tire gloss, and auto owners also net their ride with renewed trim, a full shampoo treatment for weary carpets and mats, and newly cleaned and conditioned seats.
A door-jamb degunking, spot cleaning of mats, and dusting of air vents draw impressed eyes to peep through newly crystalline windows. Before the team returns to headquarters, vacuums feast noisily on crumbs left by ant farms needing lifts to the mall.
Though Get M.A.D. Mobile Auto Detailing sometimes features a discounted price online for full-detailing services, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Motivational Mottos
Whether you're feeling so low that you're down in the dumps or feeling so sensational that you're up in the dumps, you'll feel better after repeating a motivational mantra to yourself. Seek success with these proven maxims:
• "Go for the gold!"
• "Live your best life!"
• "Is that gold from earlier making, like, a 'whirring' noise?"
• "Be the change you want to see!"
• "Dang! That gold is hot to the touch … just like I should be."
• "Everyone who looks at the gold starts bleeding. We have to get rid of it."
• "The pawn-shop owner's dog hissed at the gold and when the owner screamed at us, I noticed his mouth had 100 teeth in it."
• "I told the police, 'The gold burned down my house! It was the gold!' but they wouldn't listen!"
• "Is this what you wanted, gold? To see me reduced to nothing?"
• "I buried the gold in cement at a construction zone, but didn't notice the sign reading 'Future Site of The Center for Hubris Studies.'"
• "Settle for silver."
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